It’s so layered."
Warning: This story contains spoilers for Tuesday’s episode ofThis Is Us, titled “Katoby.”
The saying goes that as soon as one door closes, somewhere God opens a window…
Ron Batzdorff/NBC
He wasn’t calling (thank god!)
Take a break from singing “I Get Knocked Down” and read more below.
Did you get a bit of emotional whiplash having to go between those two romantic extremes?
CHRISSY METZ:Yes, actually.
It’s not only just a breakup.
It’s a new relationship.
And we’re going back and forth in time because that’s the brilliance of the show.
And it was 36 changes, multiple times and spans of literally years.
It’s much like real relationships, whether they’re platonic or romantic.
There’s so much build up and women process things so differently than men.
And the men are like, “Huh?
What are you talking about?”
It feels that way with Kate and Toby.
That’s the hardest part, because it’s so bittersweet because there’s no real anger.
If we’ve exhausted all efforts, then what else can you do?
It’s still hard when you love the person.
But there is a bit of a reprieve.
A bit of a breath.
Is it is it just a matter that they both changed a lot as people, but not together?
The whole point of us living on this plane of existence is to evolve.
And I really think we can do this."
He still wasn’t honoring how she felt.
It’s so layered.
She wasn’t ready, and he continued to push.
For him to say that she fell in love with a character defect, she did.
And she had her own.
In Kate’s mind, he wasn’t honest about him going to the gym and his weight loss.
And that was a point of contention.
And that he was having this other separate life in San Francisco when she was happy for him.
But also she was parenting by herself.
All of these things can happen simultaneously.
The whole point is that she’s never chosen herself.
And now that she is, it means a different path for both of them.
And that’s a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people watching the show.
Well, that scene where Toby basically begs her to take him back and loop back and try.
How much of her is tempted to say “yes” in that moment?
That’s the hardest part.
You’re just prolonging the inevitable because you’re afraid to rip off the bandaid.
It’s really special that scene was even written because it’s so true to life.
It’s the same fight.
It’s the same thing over and over.
And they just want different things.
But what did you make of that?
I said, “He can call back!”
And then I was like, “No, no, they can’t get back together.”
It’s going to be a beautiful moment."
Sure enough, of course it was that.
I felt like it was Toby’s way of saying, “Here’s my blessing.
I love you no matter what.”
Once you love somebody you truly love them you could never stop loving them.
It might just be in a different way.
I thought the same thing.
I was like, “Oh my god.”
[Laughs] I know, because you don’t know what the hell he’s calling about!
But then, of course, the scene is beautiful.
It’s necessary for both of them.
We do see them together at Jack’s concert.
Is that a sign they’ve overcome things enough to be friends?
She’s always going to value his opinion.
Who else understands the Pearsons aside from the Pearsons?
Toby and Beth, you know.
They will always be close and they will always be friends.
Are you so relieved that you no longer have to come up with creative ways to answer that question?
Yes, she is at least there at that time period.
Chris Sullivan was saying it was weird filming that, where you both had different partners.
Was it the same for you?
Honey, let me tell you something.
When I walked on the set, I was like, “Who are you?”
She’s like, “I know, I’m the new girl.”
We joke about it because obviously you have to laugh instead of cry, but it is very surreal.
It’s like, “Huh, why is he touching this other person?
Who is this?”
I thought of it as her drawing her boundaries.
Because love isn’t enough.
I’m going to start this out on the right foot.
Some of it is like, “Hey, we were friends.
You helped me through this really difficult time.
Now we have a romantic interest in each other.
But I want to let you know what you’re getting into.”
I’m going to put it all on the table.
And you let me know because if not, I’m peace-ing out right now.
Because I don’t want to get my heart broken."
Also, we want to push people away because we want to know if they’re going to stay.
We need people to prove themselves to us.
It’s all of those things in combination.
We’re all broken, but we all think someone’s less broken than we are.
But it’s not true.
Like, all those beautiful, broken parts make us who we are.
And we just want somebody to love us through all of those.
So, how does it compare?
A lot to do with what Kevin’s [Justin Hartley] going through.
Sophie [Alexandra Breckenridge] was at this engagement party.
So can we assume she’s now close enough friends with Kate to be at the wedding as well?
I mean, they’ve been trying to rekindle their friendship and yes, she will be there.
It’s just we don’t know who she is going to be there with.
There are some really great moments on the dance floor and there’s lightness throughout that.
But you’re absolutely right.
Some light before the really hard stuff starts.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
