The actor also reveals the most challenging scene for him to film and what’s next for Toby.
A parting of the ways.
An untying of the knot.
Toby (Chris Sullivan), seen here “seeing it now”.Ron Batzdorff/NBC
and “This marriage has been a rigged game!”
It’s time."
Kate tearfully told him that she just… couldn’t.
Dinner and a divorce? Toby (Chris Sullivan) and Kate (Chrissy Metz) move toward the inevitable.Ron Batzdorff/NBC
CHRIS SULLIVAN:It’s great.
I’ve had a month and a half off.
[Laughs] And the rest was much needed.
It was a marathon of unfolding story lines.
This show addresses every aspect of human relationships, and that includes the ending of relationships.
So it’s been an honor to take on this portion of the storytelling.
And as painful as it has been, it has made it a beautiful experience.
It’s a little bit of a dry run.
In saying goodbye to the relationship, you’re free to say goodbye to the show itself.
But we are meant to take away lessons from every life experience, including this show.
And I hope people are asking themselves, where do I go from here?
This show has taught me a lot.
So I hope that’s where we end up.
They also were not healthy communicators.
It’s possible for people to be a couple and not love each other.
[Laughs]
There’s enough stress on a relationship as it is, in a partnership sense.
It’s brutal to watch Toby plead with Kate to give it one more try
Oh, Jesus.
I haven’t seen [the finished episode] yet, but that night was brutal.
There’s so much vulnerability and desperation on display.
What was the biggest challenge in pulling off that scene?
And what was the vibe on the set?
I mean, it was very quiet.Probably the quietest I’ve experienced yet.
It was an embarrassing moment.
It was a vulnerable moment.
[Executive producer and frequent director] Ken Olin was behind the camera for this episode.
Thank God for that.
Ken Olin has been a guiding light for me through this whole series as far as navigating these moments.
And he was really vulnerable with me to help me navigate it.
I think that’s the most takes I’ve done in a scene.
So it was a challenging night, but you know, that’s what I signed up for.
I think that’s it.
For all of their foibles and their faults and their traumas, Kate and Toby give it everything.
I think it had to be Kate.
Whatever that line is.
Because I’m not capable.
I’m f—in' Irish.
I’ll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life."]
I feel like Toby is a similar place.
It was also important for Kate emotionally to be the one to put the final end to it.
Yeah, I think Toby would have stayed a lot longer and things would’ve gotten a lot worse.
Toby has always felt a bit of an outsider in the Pearson family.
There’s a healthy bond that only family can share.
But it is a thin line between healthy and enabling, healthy and codependent.
I think there’s a healthy codependency and an unhealthy codependent.
But it is a hard social environment to integrate yourself into.
And with each new person added into that family, the number of relationships grows exponentially.
So finding your way into that puzzle has got to be difficult.
But the question becomes, you know, why do you better?
The problem is they’re both right and they’re both wrong.
There’s the picture!"
That’s probably [Kate’s] moment.
The moment for Toby?
I mean, there’s the not taking the job in L.A.
But Kate is right.
That’s stuff that should be talked about regardless.
What do you think it was?
Well, there’s a couple things.
His ultimatum for her to move…
Yeah!
That’s what I was going to say.
[Laughs] It was like, ‘Ulllllllllllllllll!"
It’s a can’t-unring-that-bell throw in of situation.
Yeah, there were a lot of words flying around.
They avoided the trope of, “Oh, somebody cheated!”
or the Big Blow Up.
And what they did was actually more realistic, which is just this slow devolution of the relationship.
Toby makes the call to Kate, which is a lovely gesture.
Did itneedto happen on her wedding day, though?
I mean, obviously it serves a nice dramatic purpose… Like, “Oh, here we are, five years later.”
It was the last bit of resentment or conflict that was tethering them, maybe cosmically.
[Laughs] Yeah.
And Philatereallydoesn’t work.
The sensors will not like that one!
I had written that one down, too, but I’m glad you went there first.
It felt like a Toby thing to do.
And they have sadness that they’re not acknowledging.
And this show gives them a context to address their sadness.
And it is a never-ending cycle.
I mean, it seems to work.
It seems to have balance.
They seem to supplement each other well in that way.
And how much will Toby appear in this next cluster of episodes?
Viewers know that you’re in the finale because they’ve seen that flash-forward to Rebecca’s deathbed.
So Toby and Kate had an unexpected ending, but they both found happy endings.
What can you say about Laura?
So they were able to line up and communicate a little bit better.
How surreal was it to shoot the scene with Toby, Laura, Phillip, and Kate?
What was it like with sitting with Chrissy, both of you with different onscreen significant others?
That was very strange.
That was very strange to be pretending my hands on Laura’s shoulder and Chrissy by her.
[Laughs] Yeah, it felt very strange.
It felt… the way you would imagine it would feel.
What Toby is to this show the reminder to never forget the laughter.
And I think he’s going to continue play that role to the end.
So when everybody else is crying, just wait for the joke.
[Laughs]
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
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