Clayton and the women head to Croatia, where Mara accuses Sarah of being too young for marriage.
It was a big week onThe Bachelor, rose lovers!
The Bachelor pulls Genevieve for a one-on-one chat first.
This is literally my slack icon.ABC
“This week has been tough,” she says, before her voice chokes with emotion.
“Being vulnerable is not easy for me…
But I’m really trying.
Genevieve, Clayton, and Shanae.ABC
My feelings are growing every day.”
The Bachelor seems reassured by this, and the two of them smooch for a bit.
(If they talk at all about Shanae, we don’t see it.)
Shanae fondles the rose.ABC
Meanwhile…
Not so fast, toots.
Did she mention that at all?"
This little performance is intercut with Shanae bragging in her confessional about how she made herself cry on cue.
Clayton is confused (again).ABC
“I was like, ‘C’mon, Shanae!
And I did!”
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Rude.ABC
“Uhhhh…. whoa,” she stammers.
“No, I’m not an actress… Is there any reason that that question is asked?
Because honestly, that really shocked me.”
Clayton and Genevieve canoodle by the falls.ABC
Of course, Shanae can’t help but poke the bear.
“To be transparent, I did tell Clayton I overheard you yesterday,” she says.
“I thought you were going home.”
Rachel and Clayton get busy.ABC
Genevieve remains calm, bless her, and does her best to disengage from the conversation.
Oh good Clayton’s back!
Buddy, just put us all out of our misery and hand out the rose already.
Carb-tastic!.ABC
Thank you, reality TV gods.
As always, Gabby is a MOOD.
And Marlena’s toast is perfection: “Cheers to finally curing the herpes outbreak!”
I want to go to there.ABC
Onward and upward, rose lovers.
“I heard a lot of singing on the elevator on the way down,” says the Bachelor.
“That’s very encouraging…
Is that… a shirt?.ABC
Cheers to a great night.”
Sarah pulls Clayton first, and gushes about how “real” her feelings for him are.
Then they smooch for a bit.
Teddi tells all.ABC
Speaking of making out…
Could somebody hey get the hose?
Rachel and Clayton are at it again.
Though we’re six weeks into this “journey,” we haven’t really seen much of Mara.
Clayton smooches Teddi.ABC
But that changes tonight, rose lovers!
“I’ve been waiting and sitting patiently,” she says.
“I’m ready to show him more and more of me.”
Mara is sad.ABC
Just as the Bachelor is swallowing his first bite, though, in walks Serene.
“Damn, that was hella quick,” sighs Mara.
“I came here for love, and I’m so tired of this!”
Katrina the knight.ABC
Hang in there, mama.
This means we must say goodbye to Hunter and Marlena boo!
“I’ll find love when it’s my time,” says Marlena sadly.
Are you not entertained?.ABC
Damn right, woman!
I’m torn.)
Anyhow, on to Hvar, Croatia!
Serene drinks in some fish juice.ABC
Damn, it’s beautiful.
“There is literally a castle right there!”
“It is frickin’ beautiful.”
These two need an ice bath.ABC
Quick question, though what the hell is Sarah wearing?
You forgot to put a shirt on over your lacy bustier!
Sorry, Mara, but looks like it’s another group date for you this week.
Mara runs her mouth.ABC
“And some of the girls are more girlfriend material.”
I suppose she means, “girlfriend” as opposed to “wife”?
Almost all of the frontrunners Susie, Rachel, Teddi, Eliza are his age or younger.
Rachel gets another rose.ABC
(Except for our 30-year-old queen, Gabby.)
As soon as Clayton picks Teddi up for her date, it starts raining.
Still, they have a grand old time strolling around, stopping in shops, and exploring the city.
The Bachelor gets a mystery invite…ABC
Clayton’s all, “I would have never known!”
Cool, cool let’s move things along, folks.
Knock, knock, knock!
Susie and Clayton smooch at the clock tower.ABC
There’s an Accent Table of Doom at the door!
Mara is understandably discouraged.
“It’s just hard to be hopeful in this moment,” she says through tears.
Clayton needs some answers.ABC
After a good night’s sleep, though, Mara heads into the group date with a positive attitude.
Well, that’s not up to you, honey.
It’s up to this badass:
That’s Katrina, and she’s a Croatian knight.
Tears. So many tears.ABC
Suit up, ladies!
The competition starts with feats of strength, in which Mara and Susie both excel.
(“There’s, like, a savage within me,” chirps Susie.)
Three guesses, genius.ABC
Pig’s liver, cow’s stomach, baked brains, and fish eyes.
“The only competition in the food challenge was Serene.”
Indeed, here’s Serene downing some fish eyeballs:
Clayton is impressed.
Sarah and Clayton.ABC
“That’s a true warrior,” he marvels.
“I truly think you don’t even understand how I feel,” she coos back.
“I am falling for you so hard…
Again! Ugh.ABC
I would love to bring you home to my family.”
And he LOVES it.
Get a room, you two.
The cocktail party continues without incident, until it’s time for Mara to sit down with the Bachelor.
And tonight, she’s gonna do something about it.
Oh yeah, rose lovers.
Mara comes in hot.
The Bachelor is stunned, and possibly a little scared.
“Okay,” he says carefully.
Clayton’s all, “Uh, Sarah’s young do you mean her?”
Case in point:
Congrats on the date rose, Rachel.
Mara, honey, everyone can see that this man is not your “person.”
yo just accept it and don’t do anything rash.
Is Mara trying to finagle her own after-hours one-on-one date?
That would be super awkward.
Oh, never mind it’s just Susie the Secret Savage.
“I have to do something at least just to tell him how I feel.”
Hence the clock towerrendezvous.
And you know what, folks?
“Tonight, she told me everything I needed to hear.”
Skipping ahead to the next night, Clayton is hanging around waiting for his one-on-one with Sarah to start.
Palmer wants the Bachelor to know that he totally gets it.
“You’re scared,” he says.
Dude, haven’t you been paying attention?
Claytonnevermakes the right decision!
Anyway, Sarah’s here now.
Sarah is shocked shocked!
I’ve shown you, like, sides with me that I don’t normally show to people.
And it really is because you really are special to me."
The one who ended her roast by calling you a “stupid bitch”?
Perhaps you should start there, Sherlock.
Sarah assumes it’s someone who is “questioning their relationship” with Clayton.
“It’s a bitch-ass move,” she sobs.
“Why would you do that to me?”
Eventually, both Sarah and Clayton make it back to the table and yep, she’s still crying.
“Like, right after I am getting a second date…
I’m scared of losing you and losing this.”
Don’t worry, Sarah.
Look what happens next!
“This is a strong connection,” says Clayton.
“And I can tell that you’re pouring in everything that you have into this.”
Unfortunately, they’ll have to keep waiting because… Before you go, rose lovers, a few questions: Have you already forgotten about Shanae?
What do you think is the acceptable minimum age for marriage?
And would you mock me for predicting that Rachel and Susie will be the final two?
Post your (spoiler-free) thoughts below!
