The pool of potential wives gets a lot smaller as Matt sends five women home.
Wow, we’re down to the final four, rose lovers!
(More on that later.)
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Why, it’s Heather Martin, silly!
Now she’s sitting with Matt, trying to explain why she crashed his party.
Let’s listen in…
Heather gives the Bachelor the whole spiel about Hannah B.
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’s visit, how she said that Matt would be a good match for her, and so on.
As Matt and Heather talk, the ladies skulk outside the room and watch through the window.
“Are they gonna make out?”
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“I’ve never felt so invisible.”
(Pssst… could someone tell her she’s literally being filmed at this very moment?)
So what is the Bachelor going to do?
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“I’m going to take some time to think about it,” he says.
“I don’t want to leave this with any doubts.”
Hmmm… looks like there’s no room for you on that unnecessarily tiny couch.
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You’ll just have to stand as the women hurl questions and insults in your general direction.
“Oh, you’re so late,” sneers Jessenia.
But no amount of mea culpas will stop these women from hating on Heather.
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And now Heather’s crying.
Good Lord, some of these women are awful.
“How can he give her a rose over any of us?”
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“I know it’s not what you want to hear… Welp, you heard the man, Heather!
Grab your minivan keys and kindly leave the premises, mmmkay?
Once Heather leaves, Matt walks back into the hotel and apologizes for the interruption/monumental waste of time.
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And the ladies LOVE it.
“That was so hot,” purrs Chelsea.
Who will join Michelle and Pieper in the Circle of SafetyTM?
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I can live without the former, but Chelsea?Nooooo!
Rose lovers, be sure to let Mike Fleiss know how great Chelsea would be as the next Bachelorette.
Abigail looks so disappointed, I almost want to cry.
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“I’m just trying to figure out where his head’s at.”
“Matt and I haven’t taken that step in our relationship yet,” she frets.
“This is not for me.
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Not something I would have chosen for our date today.”
It’s all very awkward, especially when Matt tries to smooch Serena and she pulls away.
Serena does not hold back when Matt asks her how she liked the date.
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“I am not an overly affectionate person, especially in public,” she says.
“It just wasn’t for me, if I’m being honest.”
“I don’t need you tell me that everything’s good,” he says.
“If something makes you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me.”
At dinner, the Bachelor thanks Serena again for being honest with him about hating the tantric yoga.
But is Serena attracted to Matt?
So I guess we have our answer?
And look how happy she is to get the date rose!
Bri goes first, and she’s gotnews.
I thought it was worth it.”
“But being here with you makes it feel extremely worth it.”
Reader, this was the point where I had to pause the TV and scream, “No!
into a pillow for about thirty seconds.
Bri is a “communications manager” in San Francisco.
Anyhow, Matt LOVES it.
“I’ve heard all I need to hear from Bri,” he says.
“She’s here for me.”
Pieper goes next, followed by Michelle.
“Abigail, I’m sending all these other chicks home.
Will you marry me?”
Okay, okay, fine that’snotwhat happened.
“I was so comfortable in our relationship that I explored other relationships,” he says.
“My heart’s pulling me in another direction, I apologize.
The last thing I want to do is lead you on and lie to you.
You deserve someone who’s going to put you first.”
But also,waaaaaaah!
It’s so sad to see Abigail go.
Hang in there, girl!
You are fabulous and will no doubt have your pick of suitors out in the real world.
(Or inParadise.)
The Bachelor heads back to the party and announces that Abby is gone.
The ladies are shooketh.
“It just shows that none of us really know where his mind’s at,” says Rachael.
Well, she has no reason to worry.
And you just make me smile.”
Kit’s up next, because Kit is still here.
“I just want to be living life and progressing forward with the right person,” he says.
“Like yourself.”
Oh, I’m sure Kit is the right person for someone… but for Matt?
And the date rose goes to… Rachael!
Back in the holding pen, the women sit under a cloud of misery.
“This feels like a dagger to the chest,” says Kit.
“I don’t know how much longer I can go through this.”
The next thing we know, Kit’s knocking on Matt’s door later that night.
“And that’s not me.”
Our final date of the week goes to Jessenia.
An SUV picks her up out front and drives her to… an empty parking lot!
“What is happening?”
(I don’t understand cars.)
As in,The Fast and the Furious: Tokyostyle.
Jessenia hops into the driver’s seat first, and Matt can barely contain his panic.
(Women drivers, amirite?)
And Jessenia LOVES it.
Talk inevitably turns to hometowns and family.
Jessenia predicts that her parents would be happy to see her with Matt.
“I would expect them to welcome you with open arms,” she says.
“And I don’t think I’m there yet.”
Still, Jessenia knows that she deserves love, and her guy is out there somewhere.
(Perhaps even inParadise?
Man, producers have so many options!)
Huh, looks like we’re skipping the cocktail party and heading right for the rose ceremony.
“I’m a little conflicted,” Matt tells Harrison.
“I’ve got real feelings for these women.”
But he’s determined, as always, to follow his heart.
Camera one, hey push in on Pieper’s devastation!
They don’t even stop at the Bye-Bye Bench production placed outside the entrance!
Once inside the car, though, Pieper lets her feelings out.
“I put my weakness and my happiness on the table for literally nothing,” she says tearfully.
“For a big waste of time.”
Buck up, honey, at least you won that stuffed dragon thing on your carnival date!
Also, you’re 23 years old it’s gonna be okay.
Welp, rose lovers, it’s almost time for stay-at-hometowns!
And one more:John 8:7.
That said, I need your hot takes on tonight’s episode.
Can you believe that Matt sent Chelsea and Abigail home, but Kit was the one who self-eliminated?
(HOW???)
Which of Matt’s ladies do you want to see onParadise(if it happens)?
And why are we just finding out now how much fun Michelle is?
I swear, this show loves to editaroundevery contestant’s personality.
See you next week, friends.
The Bachelorairs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
