Susie, Gabby, Serene, and Rachel all bring the Bachelor home to meet the folks.
First thing’s first, though.
Susie has an agenda: “Today we’re going to find out if Clayton likes being choked.”
Breathing is overrated, Clayton.ABC
[Needle scratch sound effect] I’m sorry, what?
Today’s date is all about the Bachelor learning how to take a beating on the mat.
Good job, buddy!
Dads are the best.ABC
(Shhh don’t anyone tell him that he has no chance.)
Tom assures his daughter that he will absolutely be there for her on her wedding day.
“I think that’s why I’ve been so tough on people in the past.”
Think fast, pal.ABC
Hell yeah, Susie!
Now give your pops a hug.
With that, it’s time for Tom to sit down with Clayton.
Good advice.ABC
“I’m surprised nobody’s nabbed her yet,” says dad.
“You got her on the line all you have to do is reel her in.”
Tom seems to genuinely like Clayton.
A pretty view, but no proposal (yet).ABC
“I felt really comfortable having you come into my house,” he says warmly.
“You seem like a really good guy…
If Susie loves you, we’ll love you.”
There’s something in my eye.ABC
Oh my gosh, this man’s love for his daughter is beyond sweet.
Dang it, I thought I’d make it through at leastonehometown date without crying.
Clayton’s response does not inspire a ton of confidence.
Grandpa John.ABC
No, no it does not.
At least the guy knows he’s ridiculous.
Barbara encourages her daughter to follow her heart while also being “cautious” given the situation.
Awww….ABC
“I came right out and asked him, ‘Are you in love with Susie?’
He didn’t say that he’s in love with you,” says mom.
“He said that he can see that he could get there with you.”
Read the fine print, kids.Warner Bros.
Wise words, mom.
Still, the Bachelor does not drop any version of the l-bomb before he leaves for the night.
This woman is only 30 and she has lived alife, y’all.
A socially distanced hello from Gabby’s dad.ABC
Clayton meets her in the forest for a beautiful mountain hike.
These two do seem to have a great time together.
Alas, there is no ring in Clayton’s backpack.
Could Gabby be… the one?.ABC
But there is a random hot tub in the middle of nowhere so that’s something.
Unfortunately, her father’s longtime girlfriend has just been diagnosed with cancer.
“So, because of COVID, he’s not going to be there,” explains Gabby.
Is he single? Asking for Bachelor Nation.ABC
(Reminder: Gabby and her mother are currently estranged.)
Night falls, and it’s time for Clayton to meet the Windey family.
Awww dang, the look on Gabby’s face when she hugs her grandpa…
Seriously, dude, you had to know these questions were coming.ABC
I’m getting weepy already.
“You’ve gotta be the guy, huh?”
bellows Grandpa John after the hug is over.
Mom’s trying to hold it together.ABC
“Good luck to you, man!”
I already love him very, very much.
Grandpa John LOVES it.
Dear Lord, no.ABC
I am officially obsessed with him.
“I don’t give a damn about anything else.”
Grandpa John’s love for Gabby shines through everything he says.
Okay, whatever.ABC
“She’s always been a dingbat,” he tells Clayton, grinning.
“A loveable dingbat.”
(I’m paraphrasing.)
OMG.
“You really need to get to know a person,” says gramps.
“I encourage you to not run into [an engagement].”
For now, Grandpa John says he likes Clayton.
The final four, soon to be the final three.
The Bachelor isn’t sure if John is kidding and I’m pretty sure he isn’t.
“Anybody that could possibly like you is obviously full of crap!”
he teases, as Gabby laughs heartily.
Hang in there, Serene.
“If it isn’t for life, I’ll be really pissed,” he warns.
“I’ll come back and haunt you.”
Oh, and Grandpa still wears his wedding ring, even though his wife passed away.
Yep, now I’m full-on bawling.
(Fun withfrankenbiting!)
Still, it sucked me in, and I ain’t mad about it.
Oh man, he’s gone fullLove, Actually!
“That was the best surprise I could ever, ever ask for,” sobs Gabby.
“I might have been waiting on that a little bit,” he says giddily.
“I’m just so happy now.
I can’t stop smiling.”
(I don’t blame him; free-fall anything is my nightmare.)
“I’ll never forget him freaking out at the top of that thing,” says Serene.
“I got to see him going through all of the emotions and being human.
Her parents are divorced, but Serene doesn’t elaborate as to why her father isn’t coming.
Never mind that look at how handsome Roland is!
You have my attention.
Roland pulls Clayton first, and he’s in full Protective Big BrotherTM mode.
“That lets me know that she sees something special in you.”
Now for the all-important follow-up question: “Do you love her?”
Once again, Clayton gives a less-than-reassuring answer.
“I’m not there yet.”
Mom is a bit taken aback.
“It’s kind of surprising hearing that you might get there so fast,” she says.
“I’ve seen you hurt in a lot of ways,” he says, wiping away tears.
“Are you comfortable that he’s not going to break your trust?”
Roland wants to support her, but he’s also worried her heart will be broken.
(Man, is he gonna be mad when he sees the end of this episode.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.)
Still, they share several smooches before saying goodbye for the night.
Three down, one to go!
“I’m losing my voice,” she rasps.
“And despite how I might sound, I’m so excited to get this date started.”
Oh, and some freakishly big spiders:
I am legitimately traumatized, rose lovers.
“That thing could have taken out Godzilla!”
Thankfully, the next surprise isn’t nearly as terrifying.
Nice work on the sign,Bachelor Interns!
And then they jump in and go swimming… in the alligator-infested waters.
“I think my dad is going to be your toughest critic,” says Rachel.
“He has never really liked anyone I’ve brought home…
I just want you to be prepared.”
Cool, cool, no pressure!
The Bachelor handles the warning in stride.
Something tells me Tony is going to be a little slow to warm up.
At one point, the poor man is so uncomfortable he has to wipe the sweat from his brow.
Can someone turn on the AC?
Tony looks like he’s about to overheat.
Rachel skips off to chat with her bestie Nate, who is appropriately skeptical about the whole process.
“How do you feel about Fantasy Suites?”
“There’s still other people involved.
You don’t want to be played.”
Rachel says she just has to push thoughts of the other women out of her mind.
It’s gonna be tough on her.”
Fun fact: Tony once offered to beat up one of Rachel’s old boyfriends.
But I’m sure this conversation will gorealsmooth.
Clayton doesn’t hesitate: “I’ll do whatever it takes.
I’ll move, I’ll go wherever it makes sense to go.”
Tony takes it all in and says he can’t offer his blessing until he speaks to Rachel.
Rachel has plenty of good words to say about Clayton when she talks to Tony.
“And I really am.”
“I thought he was very nice,” he says of Clayton.
“I love you, baby.
I’m very proud of you.
I’m only afraid of you getting hurt.
But if he’s what you want, I’m all for it.”
Awww, hug it out, you two!
“It’s like, break three hearts to make one happy.”
It’s not “like” that, Clayton, it “is” that.
Are you new here?
Welp, it’s time to head back to Casa Bachelor.
But now it’s time to make a “tough decision.”
Ok ladies, yo get in formation.
you might practically see Serene shut down emotionally when Clayton brings her outside to the Bye-Bye Bench.
“I just want to say sorry,” he murmurs.
He followed his heart: “I just have stronger connections.”
Serene gets up with a sigh and lets Clayton bring her to the Reject SUV.
“It sucks, it really does,” she says.
“Clayton was able to break down my walls, but I gave it my all.
I can feel myself closing back up.
That’s why I have nothing else to say to him.”
Until theWomen Tell All, of course.
And guess what, rose lovers?
Would you want to see Serene as Bachelorette?
And should Clayton shave his toes or leave his Hobbit feet alone?
Post your thoughts below!
