Clayton’s week of overnight dates ends in disaster.
We begin, rose lovers, with The Problem.
“Can you fall in love multiple times?
[crickets].ABC
At the same time?”
“I don’t know.”
Clayton, if you’re asking me, I think the answer is a resounding, “No!”
Land’s End #DILF collection Fall 2022.ABC
I wonder how the ladies are doing right now?
“It’s weird,” says Susie at last, breaking the silence.
“Welcome to the Panic Attack Room,” jokes Susie.
Clayton and Rachel.ABC
“We’re all having one.”
Oh Lord, what’s this guy doing here?
Dude, they KNOW how this week works.
Going deep for love.ABC
Just hand out the date card.
Rachel, you’re up!
“That would be a really tough pill to swallow.”
Clayton loves to say I Love You.ABC
“But I’m hoping that he takes, like, physical intimacy as seriously as I do… Hoo boy, this is gonna be fun.
Anyhow, back to Rachel.
She meets Clayton for a helicopter tour of Reykjavik’s beautiful snow-capped mountains.
Cover your eyes, Susie!.ABC
“Rachel and I have the strongest physical connection,” says Clayton, stating the obvious.
To that end, he and Rachel are about to descend 400 feet into an inactive volcano.
“I have to start going deeper with our relationship,” says Clayton.
Oh, boy.ABC
“That’s what today is about.”
But the Bachelor doesn’t Open UpTM enough for Rachel’s tastes.
“I have done nothing but be vulnerable this entire time,” she says.
This is totally normal.ABC
“And I need him to just give a little bit back.”
Like, truly getting to know us inside and out, just to see what it feels like.”
“I don’t know that I feel the same way,” says Susie.
Abandoned in Iceland.ABC
Oh, that’s clear, honey.
Okay, back to the date.
It’s her way of saying, “Dude, put up or shut up.
Spies are everywhere.ABC
Do you love me or what?”
And lo, the Bachelor does at last reveal all though not without an ominous preamble.
I kind of wish I had told you earlier.
Dome sweet dome.ABC
“Thanks for being patient with me.”
When it’s finally time for Clayton to leave, Rachel calls to him from the balcony.
I love you!"
Spiraling.ABC
The Bachelor shares that sentiment.
“I’m gonna miss you!”
he hollers, walking back to his hotel.
Gabby and Clayton.ABC
“I know this is really awkward, and I respect you guys so much,” says Rachel.
“I think it’s just going to be a tough week for all of us.”
Of course, they’re making Susie go last.
He keeps using that word. I do not think it means what he thinks it means.ABC
The devil works hard, butBachelorproducers work harder!
Did Clayton forget his date with Gabby?
Oh, never mind.
Bedhead.ABC
Here comes Clayton in a dune buggy.
Then, it’s Gabby’s turn to drive, and the CTE risk goes way down.
“I know I could end up heartbroken,” says Gabby.
There, there.ABC
“But I trust you.
I want it to be because you did… and you chose me.”
Whoa there, Gabby!
A bit windy.ABC
You’re displaying a bit too much common sense for this whole ridiculous enterprise.
And wouldn’t you know it?
I am, I really am."
Hell no.ABC
On to the Fantasy Suite!
Back at the women’s hotel, Susie is spiraling… while walking down a spiral staircase.
“I’m just spiraling emotionally, thinking through the worst-case scenario,” she says.
Dude, come on.ABC
“Whether it’s Clayton falling in love, or him being physically intimate with Gabby…
I just hope that, like, Clayton’s on the same page.”
He… is not.
Live shot.ABC
The next morning, Clayton brings Gabby some breakfast in bed.
“Where’s yours?”
They share some pastries and champagne, and then Clayton dons his cobalt blue overcoat (?)
Uh-oh.ABC
and heads out the door.
I guess Rachel’s still number one on the leaderboard.
“There was like a huge bed in the middle,” reports Gabby.
Palmer is on the case.ABC
“It was beautiful.”
And so, Susie heads in to the third and final Fantasy Suite date full of trepidation.
Did Clayton have sex with Rachel and Gabby?
Oh, girl.ABC
Did he tell either (or both) of them that he loves them?
“There’s no reason to be crying,” she scolds herself.
“I don’t know anything…
Yikes.ABC
I just want to get to the bottom of everything.”
The Bachelor is also feeling pretty stressed out.
“I now realize I’ve told two women I’m in love with them.
😢.ABC
I also know that I could feel that way with Susie,” he says.
“So now, one-thousand percent I am going to absolutely shatter somebody.
I just don’t want to hurt anybody, and I’m going to…
OMG.ABC
I just didn’t want to fall in love with multiple people.”
Susie, you’re up!
“I just hope I can be comfortable and, like, relax today,” she says.
“Okay, I’m done!”
“I did it!”
They cap it off with an indoor body scrub and a hot shower.
As her body warms back up to a life-sustaining temperature, Susie’s nerves begin to dissipate.
“To finally see Clayton and feel his energy, this guy that I’m falling in love with…
I just feel so reassured.”
The Bachelor is feeling great, too.
You’ve already said “I love you” to Rachel and said a version of it to Gabby.
What could possibly go wrong?
“It’s no longer about me falling in love with you,” he says.
“I am in love with you.”
Susie looks stunned more stunned than happy if I’m being honest.
“Oh my gosh,” she says, her eyes widening.
“I honestly didn’t expect to hear that.”
“There are things I feel like I can’t compromise,” she explains.
Or, have you, like, slept with another woman?
“You did say to, like, explore relationships,” he stammers.
“To answer your question, yes, I have slept with someone else here.
And yes, I’ve expressed feelings towards someone else of falling in love.”
(“I really didn’t want to give you an ultimatum,” she explains later.)
Nice try, sir, but this only makes Susie feel worse.
“It makes me more sad for all of it,” she says, choking up.
“I honestly don’t feel like I knew how strongly you felt.”
“I don’t think I can get past those things.
I just don’t think I can.”
“I would hope that what we have is something that worth fighting for.”
But Susie doesn’t seem able or willing to push past Clayton’s accidental betrayal.
Oh, and this doesn’t help.
After all, he’s in love with all three women, for Pete’s sake!
He’s gotta do something to narrow the field down.
“You don’t tell me until now, and it’s after the fact?”
Susie just keeps saying that she’s “very confused” and doesn’t know what to do.
Clayton gets up and storms off, as a producer in a pink puffer coat follows behind him.
“This is exactly what I was afraid of,” he huffs.
“I don’t believe in anything anymore!
Everything is literally invalidated.”
Can someone wake Palmer up from his nap?
The Bachelor is venting.
“She just tore me apart!”
Don’t look now, sir, but Susie’s back and her mind has not changed.
“What do you mean?
You’ve made your mind up!”
“I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore,” he says.
I think it’s BS…
I’m sorry that I even raised my voice.
It’s because I cared so much, I really did love you… Daaaaamn that was cold.
Though Susie stays quiet in the Reject SUV, Clayton has plenty to say once she’s gone.
“That was my biggest fear!”
he tells an off-camera producer.
“My heart’s not in it anymore.
My heart’s out.
It’s out it’s done.
It’s over!”
With that, he drops his head and cries.
Good God, rose lovers, that was a jam-packed, back-to-back leg of this “journey.”
And we have four more hours next week!
Did you have Gabby and Rachel down on your Final Rose Ceremony bingo card?
And is “spelunkeling” the best fake word in Bachelor history?
Post your thoughts below!
