Michelle finds her “person” in the season finale of The Bachelorette.
We begin in the Tealight Candle Thunderdome.
What in the holy hell?
Kaitlyn welcomes the viewing audience (and Omicron).ABC
Why is no one in the audience wearing a mask?
Why did they even need to have an audience?
On to Michelle’s “journey,” I suppose.
The Young family.ABC
There’s just something so special about our connection and our chemistry."
Oh, thank goodness for family.
Welcome back, LaVonne and Ephraim!
Lavonne and Brandon.ABC
And everyone kindly give a big Bachelor Nation welcome to Michelle’s heretofore unseen sister, Angela!
They’re all in Mexico to help their darling Michelle choose a life partner while cameras roll.
“He seemed genuine when he was at our house,” says Ephraim.
Nayte meets the Youngs.ABC
Good Lord, am I already getting misty?
There are still three hours left to go in this damn finale!
The Youngs greet Brandon warmly.
“I do not believe you, good sir.".ABC
“If she picks you, we would gladly adopt you into our family,” Ephraim tells him.
LaVonne is equally enthusiastic about the prospect of Brandon as a son-in-law.
“I would be so happy if you’re here in the end,” she says.
Lavonne keeps it real.ABC
“I can see it in your eyes that you really love her.”
Okay, so… show’s over?
On toAfter the Final Rose?
I wish the Youngs would adopt me.ABC
There’s still one more dude on deck to meet the family.
“I think it’s going to go well,” says Nayte.
“I’m not too worried about it.”
Vroom, vroom.ABC
Things are a little iffy from the jump.
Angela raises the question as well, and once again Nayte responds with vagaries.
“The thing about me is, I’m all about the adventure,” he says.
Michelle and Brandon.ABC
Angela’s face says it all.
“She’s an eternal optimist,” sighs Ephraim.
“She’s always thinking about what can go right, and not what can go wrong.”
¡Hola, Raul!.ABC
LaVonne is equally concerned.
For one thing, Nayte can’t even answer “Is Michelle the one for you?”
(He claims that hemeantto say, “I definitely don’t take love for granted.")
Someone get Nayte a Xanax.ABC
And mom is not shy about sharing her doubts.
“Honestly, that’s how I feel.”
“You’re not real open with your emotions,” continues LaVonne.
Brandon’s handwriting is cute.ABC
“You’re saying them, but I’m not quite feeling them.”
And now it’s time for LaVonne to share the hard truth with her daughter.
Michelle wants to know: Does mom think Nayte is ready for an engagement?
Large rocks.ABC
“To be honest, um, no…
I wasn’t really feeling that, and I kind of expressed that.”
Poor Michelle looks devastated by this news.
The last time poor Brandon will smile for a while.ABC
I deserve to be in a relationship where someone loves me as much as I love them.”
That is 100 percent correct, Michelle!
Write it on the doorframe of your house and on your gate.
😭.ABC
“I love Michelle,” he says.
“All I think about is just sharing a life with her.”
Of course it’s all you think about, dude!
Michelle and Nayte.ABC
(Same goes for Brandon and literally everyone who will ever appear on this show in the future.)
Anyhow, Young family group hug!
On to the Last Chance DatesTM.
Product shot.ABC
At least he’s had it laundered, so it’s no longer stained with coffee and green juice.
Anyhow, she LOVES it.
“I want to ensure you know where I’m at with everything,” she says.
“They’re coming to the wedding, by the way.".ABC
“I really am not falling in love I feel like I’m already in love with you.”
Excellent fake-out, Michelle!
But is she trying to convince Brandon or herself?
Sad Brandon.ABC
Or maybe she’s truly in love with two people at once?
I don’t know, rose lovers.
While we all ponder that question, let’s move on to Last Chance DateTM number two.
Brandon and Michelle.ABC
Muchas gracias, senor.
“You are so emotional, but you pretend not,” he observes.
But the more Raul urges Nayte to Open UpTM, the more nervous Nayte gets.
Michelle and Nayte.ABC
“I can see that he’s putting in effort,” says Michelle.
“But during the ritual, I didn’t feel like I was getting enough from Nayte.
He was very uneasy today.”
Lavonne and Ephraim.ABC
The closest she comes is telling Nayte that her conversation with her mom made her feel “uneasy.”
“I know that’s not a profound way to explain yourself,” he says.
“But it would suck.”
Michelle and Nayte and their dream home.ABC
Rose lovers, do I need to tell you that she LOVES it?
“This is what I’ve wanted,” says Michelle, her eyes filling with tears.
They smooch and exchange “I love yous.”
Rude, but funny.ABC
“All I do is think about life with you,” he gushes.
But then…
Oh snap!
And she’s not the only one facing a big choice.
(Nayte goes with a pear-shaped rock, while Brandon goes with what looks like a square cut.)
And now for the biggest question of the evening: Which man will arrive first?
Survey says…
Dang it!
Dang it, dang it, dang it!
Looks like poor Brandon is the one who destined for heartbreak.
Ugh, and now comes the worst part!
I promised myself that I would continue to follow my heart.
And it’s not that I don’t love you, ‘cause I do.
It’s just that my heart is pushing me in a different direction.
LaVonne and Ephraim are probably at home crying, too.
Look at how devastated Brandon is!
“I truly wish you nothing but happiness,” he chokes out through his tears.
“Even if it’s not with me…
Giving you my heart was worth it.”
A true gentleman to the end, Brandon ends up comforting Michelle.
They stop on the beach and sob in each other’s arms, before finally parting ways.
“I’m so f—ing hurt,” says Brandon, dripping with sweat and tears.
“I’m so broken.”
Before getting in the Reject SUV, Brandon throws…somethingin a fit of anger and pain.
Was that the ring?
There’s no way he threw the ring, right?
He just threw the ring!!
How fast do you think Neil Lane had his assistants down on the beach with metal detectors?
They maystillbe there searching, for all we know.
Welp, rose lovers, you know what time it is.
Yep, Nayte has arrived at the Proposal Platform.
“I want to run away with you,” he says.
Cut to:
Dang, it’s so hot there even Nayte’sfingersare sweating!
Michelle says yes, of course.
Congrats, you crazy kids.
“This is my soul-Nayte!”
Okay, mariachi band that’s your cue!
And with that, rose lovers, we’re almost done with Michelle’s “journey.”
On toAfter the Final Rose!
“I’m doing good,” he tells Kaitlyn. "
I’m doing good.”
Indeed, Brandon does seem in much better spirits than he was when we last saw him.
“In that moment, I thought, ‘Oh, the world is over,'” he admits.
Still, he has nothing but (purely appropriate, platonic) love for Michelle.
“She did find happiness,” he says, “and I’m thankful for that.”
Ugh, I just love this guy.
Next it’s time for Brandon to reunite with Michelle for the first time since that emotional night.
“You look lovely,” begins Brandon.
“Honestly, I mean, I don’t really know what to say…
I’d rather hear your side.”
Really though, what can Michelle say?
And when she told Brandon that she was in love with him, she meant it.
“It’s not an easy thing to be in this position… Awww, this guy is such a peach.
Best of luck to you, Brandon!
(Also: See you inParadise!)
Welp, you know what’s next, rose lovers: Time for the happy couple!
Okay, I’ll admit it these two do look great together.
Nayte says he first realized that Michelle was something special on the basketball date.
I couldn’t believe it.”
Round of applause for men showing their emotions!
“The biggest thing is that we communicate through everything,” says Michelle.
“It’s not easy.
There’s going to be uncomfortable emotions and we definitely had them.”
Oh hey, there they are in the audience!
I swear to God, if these two angels get Covid from this ridiculous show…
Anyhow, LaVonne says that she and her husband are truly “in love with Nayte.”
In fact, she and Nayte’s mom, Leanna, are now BFFs.
So what’s next for Nayte and Michelle?
Turns out he’s moving to Minnesota… and soon!
“There’s no reason to wait,” Nayte gushes.
“Let’s do this!
I’m excited.”
Kaitlyn asks if they are already house-hunting, and the answer is a resounding “yes.”
Okay, Paulie Claus that’s your cue!
Okay, but is that gingerbread house edible?
Because it looks delicious.
Looks like producers saved the best for last, rose lovers.
The final 10 minutes ofAfter the Final Roseare given over to humiliating our new Bachelor, Clayton Echard.
“I kind of want to address the elephant in the room,” says Kaitlyn.
“There’s been a lot of mixed reactions to you being announced as the Bachelor.
I thought, there’s nothing like facing your haters head-on.”
To that end, it’s time for Mean Tweets: Bachelor edition!
At least in the studio, that is.
The audience boos at each mean tweet, and the segment ends with the crowd chanting Clayton’s name.
“It’s fun to be in on the joke!”
“I also know America is going to fall in love with you once they watch you.”
If you haven’t passed out from sheer exhaustion, take a minute and let me know your thoughts.
Do you think Michelle and Nayte will make it?
Are you willing to give Clayton a chance as the Bachelor?
Post your thoughts below!
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