With hometown dates around the corner, Katie has to narrow her field of potential husbands down to four.
You know what that means, rose lovers: It’s the week before (stationary) hometowns!
Time for Katie to separate the husband wheat from the husband chaff.
Katie Thurston, Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe on ‘The Bachelorette’.Credit: ABC
It’s morning in New Mexico and the seven remaining men know that time is running out.
“This is the biggest turning point in everyone’s experience here,” notes Brendan.
Which strategy will Katie opt for?
Greg on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
It’s “guys she already likes” for the win!
Doesn’t Greg look happy?
“I was not expecting that,” he says, stunned.
Is Michael A. the cutest or what?.ABC
“I have a son.
I’m a single father.
I take care of my in-laws,” says Michael A.
Greg and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“How does it work for Katie to move into this life?
I can’t go into hometowns with all of these questions floating in the air.”
For today’s one-on-one, Katie wants to give Greg a taste of her hometown, Seattle.
Michael A. and Brendan on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
There’s a mini-Pike Place fish market, so Katie and Greg give fish tossing a try.
It… does not go well.
Sorry, Hyatt Regency Tamaya Resort & Spa!
Katie bids Brendan farewell on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Just add it to production’s tab, okay?
Then they shuck some oysters and play a bit of football on a patch of turf imported from somewhere.
Anyhow, Katie really likes Greg.
Brendan ponders his fate on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Greg really likes Katie.
Deep breaths, everybody: Back at CasaBachelorette, Michael A. is FaceTiming with his son James.
“I can’t wait to kiss soon in real life!”
No comment.ABC
he tells his little boy.
“I’m gonna hold ya and read ya books and snuggle ya.
You’re my best friend in the woooorld!!!!”
Andrew’s work of art on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
This is so incredibly sweet I literally (not figuratively) cannot handle it.
c’mon excuse me I need to lie down for a second.
And we’re back.
Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
He admits that he can be insecure about things, which may be rooted in getting bullied growing up.
Ding ding ding!Katie LOVES it.
“Those were the words I needed to hear,” she says.
Katie gives Michael A. the date rose on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“That were the words I wanted to hear.”
Yes, we’re aware.
Just give him the date rose already!
Sure. Okay.ABC
She does, and then the date ends with some simulated “Seattle rain” drought be damned!
Why are rain kisses considered romantic?
(Orunderwater kisses, for that matter?)
A study in dread, starring Katie Thurston.ABC
Oooh, time for the group date card!
“I’m desperate,” he says.
Good God, this man is KILLING me tonight.
Katie and Mike P.ABC
The empathy and decency!
I truly cannot even!
And the unlucky group daters are: Justin, Andrew, Blake, Michael A., and… Brendan!
What the hell is this?.ABC
Sorry to these men.
But congrats, Mike P.!
“No one is more deserving than Mike right now,” says Michael A., emotional hero.
Katie gives Mike P. the boot.ABC
Brendan, meanwhile, is understandably frustrated.
“Why am I still here?”
Three great guys went home.
Say goodbye to Mike’s bag, fellas.ABC
Why am I still here?
I didn’t get a one-on-one.
Why am I still here?"
Andrew’s back!.ABC
Oh honey, don’t take it personally.
You’re still here because that’s how the show works.
(Not that I’d complain.)
ABC
(Fortunately, he has time to apply a fresh layer of Chapstick before she opens the door.)
Even so, Brendan is confident.
“It’s going to go f—ing great,” he assures us.
“It’s going to go great.”
It does not go great.
Sorry, I skipped ahead.
Now that he’s been passed over for a one-on-one date, Brendan is at a loss.
“My family would love you.
Finally, Katie interrupts.
“I’m going to stop you right there,” she says gently.
We’ll never know, Brendan.
We’ll never know.
The final group date of the season is a small one.
Blake, Andrew, and Michael A. meet Katie outside, and she leads them to an art exhibit.
Jacqueline is not fazed.
“That’s interesting,” she replies drily.
“Because it’s actually my self-portrait.”
Have an intern get Blake some Neosporin, cuz he just gotburned.
Today the men will be creating a work of art inspired by Katie and their feelings for her.
The results are about as tragic as you’d expect.
Michael A. presents a blob of clay that is, apparently, supposed to represent Katie’s derriere.
I think he painted himself, um, not engaging in the WoWo challenge?
What a fun, totally useful exercise.
Shall we move on to the cocktail party?
Yes, let’s.
Blake gets the first sit-down of the night.
“My mom’s going to love you,” he assures Katie.
“I am so in for you right now, it’s crazy.
I know it’s coming, but I won’t lie to you either.”
Given that this is Blake’s third time around at this rodeo, he should know better.
The look on Katie’s face says it all.
Things go better with Justin, who presents Katie with one of his original paintings.
IT’S MICHAEL A.
“It’s scary for me with opening my heart again,” he says.
“It was scary coming here, it’s scary at the rate of which everything progresses.”
“I can assure you that no one can love you like I can,” he says.
Dammit, these two are just really freaking adorable.
“All I would do is encourage you to keep going,” she assures him.
“If that means that we’re living in two places every year, then so be it.
If that means we have to hold off on having a family… so be it.”
She and Andrew really do seem to have fun together.
He lifts her up so she can grab a pink envelope dangling from the ceiling.
The note inside reads, “I’m falling for you.”
Wow, it’s a close race for the date rose!
It’s gotta go to Michael, right?
I’m never right!
Also, props to Michael for not only owning a velvety cowl neck sweater but for rocking it hardcore.
Only two roses left!
Will Mike P. get one at his one-on-one date?
Let’s find out!
“I thought I would never date a virgin,” admits Katie.
“Every time that I’m with him, our relationship just gets stronger and stronger.”
She’s not lying, folks.
Check out herInstagram page, if you dare.
Doesn’t Katie look excited?
“Enjoy the hug,” Jean commands.
“Hang out with it.”
“Things are awkward, but Katie’s very calming.
If you thought that Mike P. stopped there, he did not.
I’m sorry, but on what planet is this “cuddling”?
(But… it is up to you?)
kindly God, end this!
Mike, ever the gentleman, handles the rejection with grace.
“Whatever the result is, my respect for you is never going to change,” he says.
“One of those guys is really lucky.
Awww, come on now!
That’s really sweet.
If only Mike P. wasn’t so darn boring he could have made a nice Bachelor.
Cue the Suitcase Ninja!
Side note: Mike P. was still wearing his drug lord duds when he got into the Reject SUV.
Do you think someone will bring him back his own clothes?
The end of the episode is here.
And we’re not even messing with a cocktail party.
It’s time for the rose ceremony roll-call!
He hugs the guys goodbye, and then he and Katie take a seat on the Bye-Bye Bench outside.
“You are such an amazing man,” says Katie through her tears.
And that’s not something that I could give you.”
Andrew is crushed, but not resentful.
Katie sobs as Andrew drives away in the Reject Limo.
Hey, have any of you noticed that there are still about 15 minutes left in the episode?
The dates are over.
The rose ceremony is over.
What the heck are we supposed to do now?
Look who’s back!
The Bachelorette is moved to tears.
“Saying goodbye to you, that was really hard,” she says.
“That has a lot to do with me caring for you, and I still do.”
“I can really say I fell for you,” he says.
“I’m super proud of you and just love the woman you are.”
They have a sweet conversation, and then Andrew hands Katie a card on his way out.
“When I’m gone, you’re free to read that,” he says.
And she does:
Katie bursts into tears.
It’s wrong, it’s all wrong!
She needs to get him back.
They’re both crying.
“I had to see you,” Katie says, breathless.
“There’s something there,” Andrew replies.
“Whenever… if ever… you have me.”
And I can’t blame him.
“So, I had to say no.”
Um… Andrew for Bachelor?
So, I repeat: Andrew for Bachelor?
Only three episodes left, rose lovers!
Before you log off, tell me how you’re feeling about Katie’s final four.
Are you surprised Andrew went home?
What’s your stance on “cuddle communities”?
And why does it take Greg so long to tell a joke?
Post your thoughts below!
