Im very confused right now, says Luke, who knows exactly whats happening.
but the Bachelorette does not cave.
So, is this it?
Credit: ABC
Does that mean I go home tonight?
After a pause, Hannah replies: Yes.
Oh, rose lovers, if only we could celebrate this moment!
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If only the stupid promos didnt already show us that Luke isnt actually gone!
But for now, lets us cherish this image of Luke the Asshat reeling in defeat.
I need to fight for her, he says for the 900th time.
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Nothings gonna stop me.
What are you doing?
she asks Luke, though honestly, could she really be that surprised?
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What follows is more quasi-emotional gibberish and mirroring from Luke.
I felt like crying… then I felt like screaming.
I want to move mountains for you!
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I cant stand it!
He admits that they talked in circles all day, and hes ready to show her his real self.
And yet its all just words, words, words.
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[Youre] saying the same things to me that youve said a zillion times, counters Hannah.
It makes it feel not real.
Thats because it Is.
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Nor is Lukes assertion that he genuinely wants to marry Hannah.
Girl, this dude hasnt lived a genuine moment in his entire life.
Run, dont walk!
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But the exact opposite happens.
Luke walks in, roseless, as the guys stare at him with barely-concealed contempt.
But Hannah said she still wants me to be here.
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The guys are whats the word Im looking for?
Being honest, I think its absurd that were having to continue this for another day, grouses Mike.
Its still the Luke P. show, homie.
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And its hella annoying.Preach.
Ask and ye shall probably receive, dude.
Weve finally made it to the cocktail party/rose ceremony we should have seen last week.
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Hannah arrives looking white-hot in a lewk straight from theFrozencollection.
It seems that our Bachelorette, like Luke, has been seeking some guidance from above.
It was about, dont focus on the seen, but on the unseen.
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I want to have those conversations.
Okay gents, you have your marching orders.
Didnt the Bachelorettejusttell you she doesnt want to talk about BS?
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But the Luke P. talk isnt over, of course!
Thats more than Garrett can take.
Luke, no one believes you, he barks.
She cuts short her chat with Connor because shes too distracted and irritated with the other guys to focus.
she seethes, before marching into the next room and giving the bickering bachelors a piece of her mind.
Im so frustrated about there always being fights in the house, and its pissing me off!
Im aware that you dont like him, okay?
huffs Hannah, reiterating how frustrated she is.
Im tired of hearing screaming.
Do you hear that, guys?
Youll shut up about Luke now, right?
Oh, for the love of all thats holy, Garrett, SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE!
The thing I want to say to you all is,Stay in your freaking lane!
says Hannah, who by now is on the verge of tears.
With that, she walks away for some peace and freaking quiet.
Once again, she hits her limit.
Oh man, now yall have DONE IT.
Hannah rage-chugs her champagne and carefully makes her way back down the stairs.
Much like the Rock, she is about to layeth the smacketh down.
Luke, you better stop making excuses, she says, before turning to the other men.
Stop the focus on him, because I can figure that out for myself!
I dont want to talk to anybody!
At this point, like, Im just like really defeated.
Great job, guys!
And keep your apologies, Garrett.
The night is already ruined and youve successfully driven Hannah into another mans arms.
Thats right its Chris Harrison to the rescue!
Believe me, this would be a lot easier for these guys if they didnt care.
Hannahs like,Whatever, dude partys over.
So, we must say fare-thee-well to Kevin, Devin, and Grant, along with his excellent side-eye.
Peter, for one, feels appropriately chastened.
I didnt see very much hope in her eyes tonight, he says.
I just hope she doesnt just walk away from all of us.
The next thing we know, rose lovers, were in Latvia Riga, to be exact.
Im like, can I just have one cocktail party that doesnt go to crap by the end?
Every week has been ridiculous.
The host gently suggests that Latvia could be the turning point, but Hannah isnt so sure.
Im trying to stay hopeful, she says, as her eyes well up.
I feel very weighted down.
Damn, look at Harrisons Im listening face.
This guy is such a pro.
looking for a husband on a TV show) was a mistake.
I dont know how this works for people, she says, wiping away tears.
I dont know if its gonna work anymore.Dun-dun-DUN!
Wait, now were back in Los Angeles?
What in the name of John Paul Jones is happening???
In other words, its filler time, yall!
More likely, they shot this after production was over and Hannah was (maybe) already engaged.
It was like the last straw for me.
*Hannah likes Jed.
*Hannah likes Tyler.
*Hannah likes Peter.
And lets be honest who among us hasnt named a pimple?
Eventually, Harrison steers the conversation back to Hannahs current journey.
Will she go forward (yes), or is this season about to end abruptly (no)?
The episode ends with a supertease for the rest of the season, and it is all about sex.
A sexless Fantasy Suite?
Rose lovers, it gets even worse.
Well, now we (probably) know why.
But dont leave yet, rose lovers the promo isstillnot over!
He is fully convinced that you are his wife, whispers the host gleefully.
He is ready to propose to you.
This news appears to send Hannah on yet another emotional tailspin.
Before you head out, rose lovers, let me know what youre thinking.
Is Hannahs addiction to Luke P. interfering with your ability to root for her?
Are you as depressed as I am that we apparently have to live with Luke P. until overnights?
Post your thoughts below!
The Bacheloretteairs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
