This week’s episode ofThe Bachelorettemarked Michelle’s final three dates in Palm Springs.
To celebrate, she handed out roses with abandon including to a man who absolutely didn’t deserve it.
“You’ve cleansed some negative energy,” saysKaitlyn, during her pre-game chat with Michelle.
Chris falls back.ABC
)Tayshiaarrives with the first one-on-one date card of the week.
And it goes to… Martin?
Feels a little random, but okay.
This just makes me sad.ABC
Michelle and the personal trainer from Miamididshare some smooches last week.
Olu, though, is perplexed.
“I’m kinda shocked.
Martin gets the date rose. Sigh.ABC
Martin and Jamie [are] very close,” he muses.
“I don’t trust him.
I personally feel like Martin can be two-faced…
Those are tighty-whities, alrighty.ABC
He doesn’t deserve a woman of her caliber.”
Don’t worry, Olu Michelle is going into this date with her radar up.
“I’m still deciding if Martin makes my heart race.”
Romeo and Olu practice self-care.ABC
Because they’re about to do a racing date?
Those producers sure are good at the puns.
“I’m trying to find my ride or die.”
Excellent question!.ABC
Michelle is clearly better at doing donuts, and she has an excellent drift face, too.
When it’s time to race, the Bachelorette once again takes the win.
Uh… wouldn’t have been my first choice, but okay.
The Bella Twins.ABC
Michelle does NOT love it.
Her entire demeanor changes.
“So, you feel like I made the incorrect decision yesterday?”
Brandon loses to Swole-lu.ABC
Martin’s all,No, no, of course not, it’s your decision.
I don’t think that’s the answer Michelle was looking for.
Damn right, honey!
There, there, Michelle.ABC
Either way, I felt like my decision was potentially being questioned.
That’s not a good feeling."
Surely, she’s gonna send this dude home at dinner, right?
Dang, he’s handsome.ABC
They head to the Rancho Mirage Library and Observatory for a meal under the stars.
“I’m cool with being called out on things,” Martin insists.
“I haven’t always been good at communicating, and I’m working on it.”
Michelle and Rick check out the “wish box.".ABC
“Like, I don’t cry,” adds Martin.
“It was never, like, something that was okay to do.”
This is no time for the “maybe I should just give him a chance” approach.
A goddess in gold glitter.ABC
Move on to the next!
Apparently, Michelle cannot hear me screaming through the TV.
“Do you feel like you could get to a point where you could show emotion?”
Michelle and Rick.ABC
“I was definitely not good at talking about emotions,” Michelle replies.
“So, we’re both on the same journey,” concludes Martin.
“That’s cool.”
Looking at this picture gives me major second-hand embarrassment.ABC
It is definitely not cool, Martin!
Michelle, hey don’t think it’s cool.
c’mon see through his made-for-TV “vulnerability.
Chris S. makes his presence known.ABC
“c’mon c’mon c’mon?
“I feel like you’ve opened up to me so much about everything,” coos Michelle.
Too quickly, Michelle!
“How long, Lord?".ABC
This guy is just telling you what you want to hear!
On to the group date, I guess.
First, some background.
Mmmm… snacks.ABC
Once it became clear after reading all the names that Rick got the one-on-one (go Table Guy!
), Nayte expressed disappointment but said he’s choosing not to stress out about it.
“All I know is a one-on-one date is coming.
If it’s not today, it’s going to be another time.”
“He came off as really cocky.
He thinks he’s got everything in the bag.”
“I feel like Bruno Mars!”
announces Leroy, showing off his black and pink silk jammies.
Chris S., however, is not feeling too sexy with his outfit.
(I absolutely refuse to acknowledge Chris’Risky Businessmontage.
I simply will not do it, rose lovers.)
“Today’s all about bonding and quality time,” explains the Bachelorette.
The guys LOVE it.
The men love it so much, in fact, that they aren’t paying much attention to Michelle.
“I, like, pretty much had to call the guys over.”
That’s a big oldoof, for more reasons than one.
Michelle gets more and more frustrated as the date goes on.
Good question, mama!
“This feeling of being unseen, that excitement just goes out the door,” she says sadly.
Did these dudes forget what show they’re on or something?
Perhaps these two women can help.
Oh fun, it’s WWE superstars and reality TV lifers the Bella Twins.
They’re here to oversee the next activity on the agenda: The Ultimate Teddy Bear Takedown.
“I’m upset,” she laments.
They start to ask her what’s wrong, but the Bachelorette is not ready to vent just yet.
Not gonna cry.
Nope,” says Michelle.
“We’re good.
We’re not gonna talk about all that.
Don’t be sorry, girl!
Nobody can force you to talk about anything not even the people following you around with cameras.
Michelle is determined to have fun, so let’s move on to the bear battle royale.
First up, Joe versus Clayton.
Ournext Bachelor, everybody!
The final matchup of the competition feels awfully uneven: Olu, a.k.a.
Notes Clayton, “They call him Swole-lu for a reason.
The man looks like he ate three of Brandon for breakfast.”
Yeah, this match was over before it even started.
Don’t look so sad, Brandon.
You did your best.
“After the game, no one came up to me.
No one pulled me aside,” says Michelle.
“Not being seen is definitely something that I’m realizing truly hurts me.
I’m hurt and I want to figure that out.”
“I was literally standing there by myself,” says the Bachelorette.
I wasn’t seen.
I’m frustrated and hurt.”
Dang it, now the poor woman is crying!
Shame on those bachelor boneheads.
“That doesn’t mean that I need, like, these massively romantic gifts or gestures.
I honestly just want a hello during the date.”
Did you hear that, you buffoons?
Get your s–t together, and fast.
Michelle pulls Nayte for the first one-on-one chat, as the rest of the men sit in chastened silence.
Olu is the first to speak.
“She has every right to feel that way.
That poem she gave was very powerful,” he says, wiping away tears.
“Growing up in Minnesota, a Black woman, and being overlooked… Not getting enough respect.
S—, this is her time to find what she truly wants.”
That is some quality remorse, Olu.
Nayte apologizes and assures the Bachelorette that he’ll work harder to make her feel “seen.”
One by one, the rest of the men vow to do better by Michelle.
“I feel you, I hear you,” he says.
“Everything you’re doing now shows that you’re a strong woman, and I appreciate you.
I really do.”
Alas, Michelle chooses the non-violent path.
And yet, here we are!
That last one has a big effect on Rick, whose father passed away three years ago.
As for their wish?
Michelle writes, “We wish to find love by having the hard conversations.”
Kids, this is calledforeshadowing.
Dang, Michelle’s dinner look is flawless.
As expected, Rick uses this time to Open UpTM about his upbringing and his relationship with his parents.
One year while his parents were out Christmas shopping, Rick read a text that came for his dad.
“It was basically from a woman,” he explains.
“After about a day, I decided to tell my mom about it.”
“Unfortunately, he had cheated on my mom,” says Rick.
“And they split.”
“It hurts,” he says.
“That’s why that note today hit hard.
But you definitely made it easier on me today.”
Awww, just give him the date rose already, Michelle!
(She does, and even calls him “my little lettuce wrap” while doing it.)
Oh God, is it “private” concert time?
Yes, it is.
Hope the excruciating awkwardness was worth the Spotify bump,Andy Grammer!
Wow, is it final cocktail party time already?
Surely, this one will be calm and drama-free.
Before the Bachelorette arrives, Nayte says he thinks she’s in a better place.
“I think she’s pretty excited to see all of us,” he announces.
As soon as Michelle arrives, Chris S. turns to address the group.
“Before we get started, I want to say something,” he announces.
I think that there are guys here who think that they have it in the bag.
Does Chris S. have a problem with his short-term memory?
He must, or else he wouldn’t be pulling this Jamie 2.0 maneuver.
This is not going to end well.
“I can tell you that nobody has it in the bag,” replies Michelle.
“Not even close.”
Oh, are you, pal?
“Brandon already stepped up,” says Michelle.
(That sound you hear is all of Bachelor Nation cheering in unison.)
Crap, there’s more.
(That sound you hear is all of Bachelor Nation groaning in unison.)
(Oh, that’s right Chris S. played Twister with Michelle on the group date.
I suppose he’s not totally making things up.)
This is the face of a woman who is 1-800-Over-It.
Michelle avoids giving him a kiss when they end their conversation, so perhaps he’s a goner.
The guys sure hope so.
When Chris S. gets back to the holding pen, they immediately begin piling on.
“It kind of feels like this is a desperate ploy to sabotage everything,” says Romeo.
“You essentially should never feel like you have anything in the bag,” says Michelle.
Hell yes, lady!
Preach it and teach it!
“I’m not sure why he decided to single me out,” he says.
“But I can’t really control how other people feel about me.
“Psssst, Nayte!
You pronounced “I’m sorry” wrong!
“I’m really pissed off!”
“And guess what, Chris S.?
It’s time to go!”
Nayte storms back to the holding pen and pulls his rival aside for a talk.
Immediately, Chris S. starts backtracking-slash-lying.
“Dude, I didn’t mean to single you out, okay?”
“She asked.”
(Narrator: She didn’t.
At least, not as far as we saw.)
(“My is my name even in your mouth?”
“She asked me, and I told her the facts!”
This undeniable fact makes Chris S. nervous.
“I’m just talking to you!”
“F—ing chill, dude.”
(Dang, haven’t heard that word in forever.)
Chris, meanwhile, declares himself the victor of this little squabble.
Awww hell no, you diminutive d-bag.
Michelle is perfectly capable of saving her own damn self.
“We all agree that Chris S. is a snake,” says Romeo.
“That’s what the ’s' stands for.”
Perhaps, but it could also stand for smug, smarmy, and self-righteous.
And then I’m gonna wink at him.”
I simply can’t imagine a life without those colorful balls of crunchy goodness.
Excuse me for a moment while I scream into a pillow.
Okay, I’m back.
Enjoy your temporary win while it’s possible for you to, little man.
(Oh, and we also had to say goodbye to Chris G., Romeo, and Will.
Bye, guys!)
(That’s Minnesota, in case you were wondering.)
Is it me, or is Rick a true contender?
And do you think Chris S. will last one more week, or two?
Post your thoughts below!
