at your screen even though you know it wont help?
Honestly, rose lovers, Luke is that iceberg.
And weve been yelling LOOK OUT!
Credit: ABC
This week was no different.
Hannah went on four hometown dates and then flew back to L.A. to hand out four roses.
I can see it.
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He also keeps a condom in his armrest compartment.
Why do you have a rubber?
asks Hannah, as an embarrassed Peter tries to shove the prophylactic back into its hiding place.
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Lets not put that on camera!
Too late, sir.
Also, who still calls a condom a rubber in 2019?
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In the least surprising development ever, their next stop is an airplane hangar.
Time to fly with Pilot Pete!
Peters mom Barbara is so happy to see him, its adorable.
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she cries, hugging her son hard.
Also, Peters dad is really rocking that statement necklace.
Lunch at the Webers is an international affair.
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Peter (Jr.) gets emotional while giving a toast.
(And props to Peter Sr. for calling it a toast, not a cheers.)
My grandparents would, like, have loved you too.
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When it comes time to grill Hannah, little bro Jack goes first.
He tells the Bachelorette that Pilot Pete has always been a hopeless romantic who falls hard.
So, he continues, are you in love with each other?
Have you said, I love you to her yet?
(Is it me, or is that an odd question for a parent to ask?
Maybe my family is just extra-WASPy.)
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Never fear, young Peter Barbara is on the case!
Hes head over heels over you, she tells Hannah.
And it scares me…
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I just wanted to share that.
I just wish that God would find a path for you, she says tearfully.
You ok there, buddy?
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Maybe its time for your lunch break.
Oh no, now Peter Sr. is getting emotional, too!
I only want the best for you, he says, his eyes welling with tears.
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I just want the best for you.
Awww, hug it out you two!
Really, Peters family could not have been nicer.
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God bless you all!
mom calls out to Hannah and Peter as they leave the house.
(Are these people real, or were theycarved out of cream cheeselike Clairee Belchers kin?)
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I wanted to tell her so badly, he sighs.
But as strongly as I feel, its scary.
How scary could it be, dude?
Luke basically said it on his first group date and look how far thats gotten him!
Praise the Lord indeed!
Now take your shirt off, buddy its time for you to get lathered up with sunscreen on camera.
When Tyler asks Hannah where she wants her sunscreen, she gestures to her nether-regions and giggles.
Hes super-hot, says Hannah.
But there are big concerns for me that Tylers ready for, like, next steps in a relationship.
Naturally, they also jump in the water and make out for a bit.
We all got stronger out of [that experience], he says.
Its going to be emotional, says Tyler.
I want my dad to be around forever.
I want him to see my wife, I want him to see my kids.
Yeah, we totally understand, Tyler.
That sounds really emotional…
Wait, why is Hannah on stage playing air-guitar with a reggae-ska band?
As for Tyler and Hannahs attempt at theDirty Dancinglift?
Lets just say it would never fly at the Sheldrake Hotel.
The sun is setting when Tyler brings Hannah to his familys home.
Oh crap, Im already crying.
You look great, says Tyler, hugging his dad tightly.
Its good to see you.
I didnt come here to cry.
After all the hugs and greetings, Tyler and Jeff go sit outside by the fire to talk.
I look at you with her, Im like, Oh my gosh, he might be in love!
If thats the case, adds Jeff, wed do all we can to love and support you.
I love you, and I want the best for you and Hannah.
Inside the house, Hannah is grilling Tylers brothers about whether or not he is ready to get engaged.
So thats a yes.
Tylers dad agrees: Hes 26 years old.
Hes at a point in his life where marriage is definitely something hes thinking about.
For whatever reason, we dont see Hannah with Tylers mom.
Andrea does have a brief chat with her son, and says she sees chemistry between him and Hannah.
Uh-oh, can someone get the hose?
Tyler and Hannah are dry-humping in the back of the SUV.
I want to give her all of me, Tyler drawls.
Not yet, buddy thatsnextweek.
For now, just try getting out of the Escape SUV without ripping your even-tighter-than-they-were-when-you-went-in-there trousers.
Buckle up, rose lovers: Its the Hometown That Never Should Have Been.
Ive always, like, seen the good in Luke, Hannah says.
Luke is definitely complex, and I want to understand why he is the way he is.
If not, this would be the road for us.
Dont taunt us, woman!
Luke meets Hannah by a covered bridge (how rustic!)
and informs her that the first stop on their agenda is Sunday school.
Praise the Lord and pass the Biblical coloring books!
Oh, my bad this is a Sunday school foradults.
They meet in a local cafe and sit around a table, Bibles open, and talk about God.
I thank God for you, Luke tells Hannah, as the cafe congregation claps.
It was a nice change just to see people rally around him and support him.
But… what is the deal with Luke?
To paraphraseSeinfeld: I will never understand people.
Theres a big group of Parkers waiting for Luke and Hannah at his parents house, too.
Excuse me, Luke and Hannah?
An unnamed male relative has a VERY important question.
Her answer is extremely unsatisfactory.
she drawls, laughing.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph will our torment never end?
I hate to think of people being critical of you, he says.
I just have no idea what youve gone through.
(If I never hear someone talk about a metaphorical highway lane again, itll be too soon.)
And that is a gift like we could never deserve.
(Oh Mike Sr., you have no idea how little your son deserves it.)
Coincidentally, Hannahs in another room talking to Lukes brother and sister-in-law about Lukes excessive confidence.
Sometimes it was like he thought he had it in the bag, she says.
It was really frustrating because it came across a little arrogant, even with me.
Mike Jr. insists thats not who Luke really is, and that his brothers heart is huge.
Mike Sr., meanwhile, says Luke is always the guy whostopsfights rather than starts them.
Whats holding you back?
she asks her son, who gives her the same I was just trying to be Mr.
Perfect line that hes given Hannah before.
Oh Liz, if Hannah picks your son, you wont be the only one crying.
We had a good day, all day!
As a parting shot, Hannah warns Luke, Dont screw up, or Ill freaking hurt you!
Get your nunchucks ready, honey youll need them next week.
Doesnt Jed look excited to see Hannah?
You look so beautiful!
gushes Jed, as he and Hannah stroll hand-in-hand to a nondescript brick building.
Could it be his old high school?
An organization where he volunteers?
A nursing home where his grandma lives?
Its a recording studio, silly!
You didnt expect Jed to go afull daywithout reminding us that hes a singer-songwriter, did you?
You put me on the pageant stage and let me get a feel of that, Jed explains.
Now were gonna step into my world and were going to write a song together.
(Yes, that is shade.)
It should also come as no surprise that Jed chooses a recording booth to share this sure-to-make-the-final-episode sentiment.
And she LOVES it.
Now all she needs is a Wyatt family blessing.
Should be a piece of cake, right?
Jeds actual hometown is Sevierville, which is about 29 miles from Knoxville.
Is it me, or does Jeds mom not look too happy about that last part?
Its definitely not just me.
Soon after that, Jerry pulls Jed aside for a chat.
Dads next question is even more telling: How do you see your career working?
Elsewhere, Hannah is trying to win over Jeds mom, but Gina is very skeptical of this process.
I mean, it is kind of a dreamy way to get to date someone, she says.
Oh no, Hannah says, Jed isnt just another guy.
Hes, like, one offourguys.
I know that with us its more than that, says the Bachelorette.
Ive told your son Im falling in love with him.
Mama is not impressed.
Someone get Hannah some Neosporin because that was a seriousburn.
The Bachelorette maintains her composure.
No, she says with a polite laugh.
I havent said that to anyone else.
He lived his life before Bachelorette, says Gina.
Hes human, hes been through a lot.
He couldnt work full time and do music, she tells Hannah.
So, his path is different.
Like, he couldnt completely focus on his music.
Lily is as vague and noncommittal as her mom.
Making music makes him so happy, she says.
Him potentially falling in love with you, Im like not sure that its a good thing.
Could someone get Hannah a hot toddy?
Because it just gotcoldin here.
And its not like Jeds getting a warmer reception.
Tonight did not go the way I expected it to go, says Hannah.
I did not get the validation that I thought I would get.
Jed seems oblivious to Hannahs concerns, though.
Such a beautiful day, he murmurs as he opens the door to the Escape SUV.
Everything just worked out.
Dude, what date were you on?
Anyhow, Hannah informs us that she needs more time to think about everything.
With that, were back at the mansion for the final pre-Fantasy Suites rose ceremony.
After handing out roses to Peter and Tyler, Hannah falters with the final rose.
Um… Can I just… she stammers, before walking out of the room.
You got this, Jed, says Tyler.
Itll be complete baloney if you dont get a rose.
(Mmmmmmm… baloney, thinks Luke to himself.)
Meanwhile, Harrison confers with the Bachelorette in the makeup alcove.
I cant make a decision, replies Hannah.
I need more time.
Shes so upset, shes even shredding the precious final rose!
Things seem even more dire when Hannah returns to the rose ceremony.
I dont know what to do, she tells the guys.
And so, I cant give out a final rose.
Theres a dramatic pause, and then Harrison walks in with two more roses!
Thats right, Bachelor Nation the Bachelorette is taking the final four guys to the Fantasy Suites!
Get it, Hannah Brown.
What the fk is going on?
he stage-whispers to the guys.
It feels that way, bro, because thats exactly what happened!
So down your champagne and get ready for your 15-hour flight to Crete, Greece.
As we know, rose lovers, next week is the Final Reckoning with Luke.At long last.
For now, let me know what you thought about this weeks leg of Hannahs journey.
Which family would you want to marry into?
Was this Hannahs best rose ceremony dress yet?
And is Mike still the best choice for Bachelor?
(Yes, obviously.)
Post your thoughts below, and Ill meet you back here next week.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
