Welcome to the first episode ofThe Bacheloretteall season that was 100 percent Luke P. free, rose lovers!
As for the end to all the rumors stuff we werepromised in the promo?
Well, for that were going to have to wait until tomorrow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq72YBZovRM#TheBachelorette #HannahBrown #BacheloretteFIRST LOOK: Who Will Hannah Choose? | The Bachelorette USBachelor Nation/youtube.ABC
Hannah is kind of a wreck.
I have to continue to make the hard decisions, she tells Tyler, Peter, and Jed.
Im not just breaking somebodys heart, Im breaking my heart.
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So who will join Hannah in the land of the heartbroken?
Still, he handles it with grace and maturity.
This sucks, and this hurts, he tells Hannah, as they sit together on the Bye-Bye Bench.
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But I dont regret anything about it.
Farewell, Ben Higgins version 2.0.
Its time for something new.
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Even poor Peters parents, Barbara and Peter Sr., are there, weeping in the audience.
Harrison says his mom has gone through a box of Kleenex watching her sons misery.
I know how he felt, says Peters mom, breaking down in tears.
It hasnt been easy.
Harrison asks Peter if he still loves Hannah, and he answers carefully.
I dont think you might completely fall out of love with someone [so quickly], says Peter.
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I know time will heal all wounds.
Hannah and her ponytail are waiting backstage to break your heart all over again, pilot Pete!
What would you like to say to her?
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There wasnt anything wrong…
I wish I could give you a clear, concrete answer, she tells him.
Still, the Bachelorette assures Peter that everything we had was real.
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The crowd roars and Harrison gives Peter the Very Virile Pilot a one-man standing ovation.
You must be so proud.
On that note, lets get Hannahs parents involved in this mess, shall we?
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Our relationships been really physical, she explains.
I didnt know if I was falling inlustwith him or have been falling inlovewith him.
Raise your hand if youve ever discussed your sex life with your parents.
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(Reminder: I am 100 percent WASP.)
Tyler arrives wearing a crisp white polo and bearing flowers.
Its an honor to meet the in-laws!
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(Easy, buddy right now theyre just people.)
In a classic Tyler move, he begins his conversation with the Brown clan by praising Hannah.
You guys should be so proud of this girl, the way shes conducted herself.
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Shes just been absolutely amazing, he says.
Mom and Dad LOVE it.
Then they start talking about something else, but I was too distracted by Tylers arms to listen.
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Tyler and Hannah seem very happy with each other, says Susanne.
Of course, Tyler says thats something hed never do.
(Im sure he means it, but dude, thats a never say never situation.)
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I really do love your daughter, says Tyler.
By the end, mom is completely charmed.
Tyler just kind of blew me away today, she gushes.
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He was pretty amazing, all the way around.
Tyler seems to be the real deal, he says.
He seemed to be very loving.
You talked about that?
Damn straight they did, Hannah.
I think he has good intentions.
Everythings going so well, Hannah seems like her mind is made up.
And then theres this:
Welp, there it is.
Can we put Jed on a plane outta Crete now?
The first warning sign comes when Jed announces that hes a musician and a songwriter.
Moms face says it all.
Jeds answer is… Well, lets just say I laughed out loud at several points.
Then, rose lovers, Jed reveals his most major accomplishment so far.
At least Jed has the good sense to look embarrassed about this declaration.
And plenty of struggling singer-songwriters would kill to write a jingle for a dog food company.
Robert does his best to keep his skepticism in check.
I consider marriage as a one-time deal, he says.
Tough but fair, Robert.
Jed is properly chastened.
Things dont get any better when he sits down with Susanne.
I feel a little confused, sighs Jed.
It seems like they were mainly concerned with the financial aspect of our relationship…
They dont think Im adequate or something.
Susanne doesnt say as much when she chats one-on-one with Hannah, but she makes her concerns known.
Jed, meanwhile, is selling kibble.
I knew this was freaking going to happen, groans Hannah.
Awww, hug it out, you two!
I appreciate my parents opinion and their love and support for me, says Hannah.
But now Im freaking out.
Is that dads polite way of saying that Jed is a bullst artist?
Hes very proud of the dog food jingle that he did, Robert continues.
Thats what he said he was proud about.
Yes, even though she has a vagina!
YES, GURL YES!
MULTIPLIED BY 500 MORE YESES!
She then moves the discussion along to Jeds feelings for her.
He says that he does love you, notes Robert, who does not sound too enthusiastic.
Dads answer is vague, but also very clear.
Message received, Robert.
I feel really good about us, he says.
I have for a long time.
With Tyler… yesterday went really, really well, says Hannah.
This is why you dont date two people at the same time!
Jed wraps his arm around her.
Baby, we know what we have, he says.
Her reply, a simple Yeah, is not very enthusiastic.
Last Chance Date No.
Unfortunately, she also thinks it would behilariousto make Tyler ride a horse again.
I can definitely see a future with Tyler, says the Bachelorette.
I truly believe I can make it work for us, no matter where we go, says Tyler.
I just know that we can be kick-ass in our marriage.
And she LOVES it.
Whats upstairs, Tyler?
Hannah drawls, leading her hunky potential husband to the bedroom for a vertical make-out sesh.
Ugh, get your shoes off the bed, you two!
Were you raised in a barn?
Last Chance Date No.
But dont worry, Hannah, its nothing a sail on the gorgeous Sea of Crete cant fix!
Is this really rocky, or is it just me?
asks Hannah nervously, as the boat bobs vigorously on the roiling waters.
The Bachelorette tries to play through the pain, but pretty soon shes puking over the side.
Oh, Hannah, the Lord could not be sending you a clearer sign.
Vomiting is definitely a mood-killer, and the rest of Jed and Hannahs day date is subdued.
Jed admits hes nervous about her other feelings still floating around.
Also, Im feeling like your dad didnt believe in me, he adds sadly.
I just dont think he understands the other stuff that I do.
Will the evening portion of Hannahs date with Jed give her the clarity she keeps saying she needs?
Spoiler alert: Nope.
Doesnt Hannah look happy?
I dont know that I have the clarity that I need for tomorrow and a proposal, sighs Hannah.
I know that Ill break someones heart tomorrow.
Episode, rose lovers.
(Two, if you countAfter the Final Roseas its own entity, but you get the point.)
Would you like to see either of these dudes as the next Bachelor?
And what dog food do you think Jed is selling?
Post your thoughts below!
Part 2 of The Bachelorette finale airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on ABC.
