have a hard time making it happen.
Because he’s the best!
If you really wanted to promote your business, you should have went onShark Tank!"
Rodney rules.ABC
The crowd cannot BELIEVE it.
Yelling, yelling, more yelling.
And wouldn’t you know it producers have an example!
These ladies are shook.ABC
And to be fair, Peter’s restaurant does mostly receivedecent reviews.
Just as the segment is about to wrap up, Tayshia offers to give Peter the last word.
And Peter, in turn, offers that last word to this guy:
Oh, snap!
Yikes on yelp.ABC
Part 2: Liars, Liars, Pants on FiresFirst up: Ryan.
You remember Ryan, right rose lovers?
Yeah, he still claims he came on the show for the Right ReasonsTM.
Shook again.ABC
That said, he’s savvy enough to know that everyone on the stage thinks he’s trash.
“I formally apologize to all the guys for taking that time that first night,” he says.
Pardeep, for one, isn’t having it.
Olu is very handsome.ABC
“All you wanted to do was go viral, dude,” he scoffs.
“Go away, man.
You have zero integrity, dude.”
This woman is Olu’s number one fan.ABC
Speaking of zero integrity… it’s time to talk to Martin!
“I did lie at the end,” he admits.
Martin denies it, because of course he does.
Picture-in-picture Jamie.ABC
Okay Chris S., don’t think you’re getting out of this segment without feeling a little heat.
“I’ll leave it at that,” he says.
Rick, who was Chris S.’s roommate in Minneapolis, responds with justifiable skepticism.
Rick is sad.ABC
“I would just say, I don’t believe him right now.
Once again, these women in the audience are SHOOK.
When Kaitlyn asks Olu to comment on Chris S., the crowd erupts in cheers.
The stuff of nightmares.ABC
Everybody loves Olu, and how could you blame them?
Olu has some choice words for his former rival.
He’s not wrong, rose lovers.
Breaking up is hard to do.ABC
The audience bursts into applause once again.
And this lady absolutely LOVES it.
Perhaps encouraged by the crowd’s rapturous reception, Olu gets up and starts walking over to Chris.
Rodney’s number one fan.ABC
“Look me in the eye!”
he yells over the noise.
“A low IQ?”
Awwww.ABC
Here’s a fun picture-in-picture moment for you.
“That’s actually a good question,” he replies clearly not realizing how condescending he sounds.
“The ‘Spring Break’ comment was moreso about me being one of 20 guys.”
A buttery crime scene.ABC
When PJ (remember him?
Ugh, this guy.
Awww, we love a man who appreciates emotional intelligence.
Sorry Becca, but no.ABC
Oh Lord, what is happening?
Why are two crew members wheeling out a room service tray with a domed silver platter on it?
What fresh hell is this??
Michelle Young.ABC
To quote Phoebe Buffay: “Oh, my eyes!
I regret to inform you, rose lovers, that it gets worse.
“So, can you tell us what’s going on in your relationship with Zac?”
Jamie on the Men Tell All.ABC
I still love him very much,” she continues, her voice breaking.
“I’m not sure what the future holds.”
Another stint as the Bachelorette perhaps?
The crowd loves him.ABC
(I’m just joking!
Or am I?)
Part 6: Rodney is Still Adorable
TheBachelorInternssure do a nice job on those signs.
Olu is very handsome.ABC
Oh no, not sad picture-in-picture Rodney watching his beloved Mom cry during the hometown date!
“We all are,” says Kaitlyn, speaking forBachelorNation.
Dear Reality TV Jesus, like answer our prayers!
Peter shakes Will hand.ABC
“Yo, what did Olu do?”
“It looked like he was stabbing his butter!”
On to the basketball date.
I simply will not do it, rose lovers.
Clayton is the next Bachelor.
Some of you have said you won’t be watching, and that’s entirely your prerogative.
Anyhow, it’s time for the big Bachelor supertease!
“I think he’ll be a hell of a father one day,” says Rick.
“All of us are very excited to see Clayton in this position,” adds Rodney.
Cool, cool, cool.
As for the trailer itself?
Then comes the real Shocking MomentTM:
What the actual f— is right, random lady!
See you January 3, 2022.
Part 9: Nope
Nothing against Becca, of course.
A paycheck’s a paycheck, after all.
Part 10: Michelle in the Hot SeatShe looks lovely, as per usual.
The Bachelorette’s time in the hot seat begins as a love fest.
Even he looks surprised.
Jamie was probably hoping for applause and a thank you from Michelle.
Instead, he gets dissatisfied silence.
The Bachelorette, for one, has some things on her mind.
Now the audience is ready to applaud.
Wanna take another crack, Jamie?
Michelle isn’t having it.
“I believe in being respectful at all times… Now would have been the perfect moment for someone to pull Jamie off stage with a giant hook.
Finally, he apologizes for what he said, and for disrespecting Michelle and his fellow contestants.
See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Chris S. says he’s sorry for “taking her voice” during his cocktail party outburst.
And then it’s Michelle’s turn to apologize to Olu, for sending him home too early.
Damn right it was too early.
Also, can you imagine this man as the Bachelor?
Call off that defamation suit, Peter’s lawyer!
Before you go, a few questions: Did you believe any of tonight’s apologies?
Which of these men do you absolutely have to see onParadise?
And will you be watching Clayton’s season ofThe Bachelor?
Post your thoughts below!
