But before we get to the emotional bloodbath, its time to honor a newBachelortradition: Uncomfortable karaoke!
Anyhoo, now its Jasons turn to endure a talent(less) show.
Despite her near-total mental collapse, Nikki manages to warble her song without crying or throwing up on herself.
Credit: Adam Larkey/ABC
(Small victories, sweetie.)
But to absolutely no ones surprise, Molly earns the one-on-one date.
So what exactly does Molly win?
A ride on a blimp?
Diamonds and a private jet to Vegas?
Melissa sums up the sentiment of the room: I dont like that she smells like him.
Enough jealousy, ladies!
Its time to head out with Jason.
So what could the date cards cryptic message about playing doctor possibly mean?
Why, a synergistic visit to the set of ABCs venerable daytime dramaGeneral Hospital, of course!
Its like, I just want to scream and be like, Its me!
Like, Im perfect for you!
But I cant, because that would be straight crazy.
Lauren has no time for such introspection, however.
you gotta give me a rose tonight, or Im going to be pissed, she tells him.
Later, Tooth Nazi pulls him aside to issue this tearful threat: Im notlettingyou let me go.
Congratulations, Naomi youre the less-est of six evils!
What could have possibly led them to believe that theyd be allowed to dressthemselves?
Havent they read the rulebook?
And frankly, Stephanie, you and Sophia deserve better… Wait,WHAT?
Hes sending Nikki and her amazing qualities home instead?
Explains Jason, It was really hard to send Nikki away because Nikkis one of the sweetest people here.
(Props to you, Bachelor, for thinking with the big head this time.)
Thats why I venture to be so perfect.
Its like, I do everything right and yet Im always rejected.
Girl, go home, cry into some Haagen-Dazs, and thenget over yourself.
Life is too short.
I guess Lauren was right some people really do like to be dominated.
(Jason, if you need a safe word, I think wuss should work just fine.)
Im sorry, he says gravely.
I cant do this.
ThankGODyouve finally come to your senses, man!
I just dont see a forever, so I cant give out the final rose tonight.
After a minute of stunned silence, Lauren who cant get that Are yousingme?
Its pathetic how much I dont want to go home right now.
Wow, Jasons journey sure took a crazy detour this week, didnt it?
And by crazy, I mean Jason actually made some good decisions.
I mean, whos going to bring the crazy next week?
(Naomi youre up!)
Okay, rose-lovers, lets talkBachelor!
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