It’s fantasy suite time!
Yes ladies, the time has come to put out or get out.
Welcome to week seven ofThe Bachelor, TV Watchers.
But, such are the necessities of televised romance.
We begin with Jasons quick recap of the pros and cons for each of the ladies in question.
Im leery of girls like Melissa, he says.
Melissa reminds me of girls like DeAnna, and my ex.
(Hmmm, why am I suddenly reminded of that famous saying aboutthe definition of insanity…?)
So many lingering questions!
The only thing that can answer them, naturally, is audition sex.
Cut to Queenstown, New Zealand.
(Or, perhaps, the Brawny man is now moonlighting as a reality TV stylist.)
(Looks likesomeonesfishing for a compliment!)
Jason produces a typically pleasant-yet-noncommittal string of adjectives: fun, gorgeous, exciting, adventurous.
Despite this rhapsodizing, Jason is clearly still not feeling the spark.
Everything is great with Jill.
Shes somebody I could be friends with forever…
But what Im looking for is more of a passionate connection, too.
Meaning… what exactly?
That you both just realized youre onThe Bachelorand are contemplating suicide?
And lo, the big night arrives.
The two have a lonely-looking dinner in what feels like the basement of an abandoned winery.
I just wanted to ensure he could handle that, handle all of this fire.
Its a metaphor for their relationship!
Jason wants to know if Molly is willing totake the plunge!!)
Despite being terrified, Molly manages to keep a smile on her face.
I think it will be groundbreaking for our relationship, she chirps.
But wait, dont throw something at the TV yet!
Oh, good plan.
NEXT: Molly and Melissas overnight delight
Jason finds the interrogation fun, but he wants more.
Were just not a mushy-gushy family, she explains.
I want to let my guard down for you.
Its not easy for me to do.
Darn that emotional wall!
After grunting a response Wow Jason is rarin to go.
I took control, she says, and I think he liked it!
Hooray for womens lib!
Now its Melissas turn.
That would be a big no.
Falling in love with Melissa has nothing to do with her parents, he says.
Theres nothing that her parents can do or say that can make me feel different about Melissa… At the very least, it can go upstairs to the fantasy suite.
So, date card, forgo individual rooms, yes Id love to, etc.
None of this I am falling in love with you crap she isalready there.
Eat her co-dependent dust, ladies!
I think I have been for a long time.
wrap up the shutters, Jason its business time!
Harrison arrives for a show-padding recap of the three dates.
Its been way tougher than I thought, admits Jason.
The good news is hes got three video messages from the ladies pleading for their proverbial love lives.
I miss you, and I love you.
Outside on the Bye-Bye Bench, he tries to let her down easy: Youve got an amazing life.
I would like to be able to keep up with you, and you deserve somebody who can.
Well, its time to let it all out,Bachelorfans!
Where did Jillians hot dog theory go wrong?
Who do you think will be better with Ty Melissa or Molly?
And are you excited or repulsed at the prospect of DeAnnas return?
(His answer may surprise you.)
Ok, folks, lets talkBachelor!
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