Each weekday, EW will post the answers from a different player.
Mike White has quite the resume.
He wrote and starred in classic films likeChuck & BuckandSchool of Rock.
Mike White on ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.David M. Russell/CBS via Getty Images
He created (and starred in) the criminally underappreciated HBO seriesEnlightened.
He worked on beloved shows likeDawson’s CreekandFreaks and Geeks.
Too bad all those movies and TV programs are COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS!!!
Mike White on ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.Robert Voets/CBS
A producer himself, Mike has always had strong feelings about his favorite TV show.
(Too bad they never spoke about the Edge of Extinction.)
That’s a question being asked by none other than… Mike White!
Christian Hubicki, Alec Merlino, Kara Kay, Alison Raybould, and Mike White from ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.Mike White
“I honestly wish they would let me produce the show one season!”
And what would a Mike White produced season ofSurvivorlook like?
(They’ll be just fine… there are cameras there, remember?)"
And that is not an exaggeration.
MIKE WHITE:Thank you for asking!
Work-wise, I just wrote and directed a limited series, which will premiere July 11 on HBO.
It’s calledThe White Lotusand it’s consumed my life the last year.
It stars Jennifer Coolidge, Molly Shannon, Alexandra Daddario, and Alec Merlino.
Don’t hate me.
As far as my personal life, I’ve been living on Kauai.
I still party with my boyfriend, Josh.
We have Peanut, who is our baby boy bulldog.
And Peanut just got a new lover we adopted from China.
Coconut was rescued from a meat market so she could become Peanut’s full-time erotic plaything.
She is so grateful for her new life that she attacks us from behind and bites our heels.
Before the pandemic, we’d also adopted a dog from Thailand.
But Hazelnut is still stuck in Bangkok and she sleeps on a trampoline.
One day soon we will get herand our gay dog nut family will be complete.
What is your proudest moment ever from playingSurvivor?
I guess my proudest moment is generously letting Nick win the game.
Oh my God, that’s a joke.
Nick played an A+ game.
But I do like muddying his winning waters cause I’m a petty narcissist.
(AllSurvivorcontestants are petty narcissists, by the way, so judge us all… or none.)
No, my proudest moment, I guess, is winning the fire challenge.
Kara saved her one dumb blonde moment for the finale.
I was so worried I was going to end up going out in the fire challenge.
I tried to make FINAL TWO alliances with everyone on the island.
My hope was that if they won the last challenge, they would bring me to FTC.
I don’t think anyone thought I was going to win that one.
Maybe I did, Carl and maybe I didn’t!
What is your biggest regret from yourSurvivorexperience?
I lost all the swing votes that night!
But at the time, I was afraid to fight for it.
An angry mob will come and torch my house!
Look around, peoplethe rich get richer!
So let’s not peddle fantasies that keep us from dismantling structures of economic oppression.
I should have said that at FTC!)
The truth is that losing was not a regret for me untilWinners at Warwas announced.
In my mind, I DID win that season.
I don’t know if I have anything that would blow fans' minds.
Something did blow MY mind.
I’m not someone who believes in sixth sense stuff, but I did have a seemingly metaphysical moment.
I just knew that something extremely fortuitous was in store.
The first person I locked eyes with was Nickwho I had never spoken to beforeand he looked very nervous.
I put my hand on his back and said, “It’s gonna be okay.”
Then I locked eyes with Angelina and gave her an assuring nod.
How do you feel about the edit you got on the show?
I knew the Davids were going to get the hero edit from the moment Jeff told us the theme.
And so being a jealous megalomaniac, of course, I immediately had to target Christian.
Taking him out seemed worth the risk of being perceived as a treacherous spoiler.
And yup, that’s what happened.
Of course, I want to be the hero.
But, ultimately, I’m just happy to have my picture in the yearbook.
What was it like coming back to regular society after being out there?
Was there culture shock or an adjustment coming back?
I just missed the cameras.
Cameras give you life!
But if there’s a camera crew, nothingthatbad can happen.
And you are suffering in front of the massesand that’s sustaining.
I will suffer for America every Wednesday night at 8 pm.
If a stomach growls in the woodsand there is no boom mic to capture itdoes it really growl?
Take me back to the land where all my petty beefs are documented on digital!
I had the best time, the entire time, and I met so many interesting, fun people.
I’ve been lucky to have a lot of cool adventures in my life, butSurvivorwas something uniquely special.
Whom do you still talk, text, or email with the most from your season?
Alec came, tooas Kara’s plus one.
[SEE PHOTO BELOW.]
We laughed and drank and did backflips into our private plunge pool.
Are you reading this, Dan?
Reading that on the Internet made me realize I should text them.
But it is true!
I spent three months in Maui with Alec.
He loves me despite all my physical flaws.
And Kara is an unflappable queen.
I see John when he’s in townhe’s the gentlest of giants.
Angelina is kind and mischievous and is always drunkenly breaking her foot, which I admire.
I talked to Nick on the phone recentlyit was great catching up.
Alison is a Superwoman.
I used to talk to Jeremy, but he hurled one hilarious insult too many at me.
Christian has come to LA for work and I love hearing his analytical hot takes onSurvivorand our season.
I made up with Natalie, which is a source of pride!
I have made friends with a few contestants from other seasons.
We smoked Sophie and her sweet husband a few times.
Sophie, as you might imagine, is gracious in defeat, not bothered by losing at all!
The perverse power duo, Russell and Parvati are likeMr.
and Mrs. Smithif Mr. and Mrs. Smith were an evilbayouhobbit and a yoga-teaching succubus.
The other contestants are all totally insane, and that’s satisfying.
The show’s success is all about casting!
And yes, I still watchSurvivor.
Who’s one player from anotherSurvivorseason you wish you could have played with or against and why?
That’s a toss-up between Kathy fromMarquesas, Natalie White, and the Wardog.
Natalie White, because I’m convinced we are distant relatives.
My family (on the White side) is originally from that same part of Arkansas.
I think we would be a good “kissing cousins” act.
We’re both so wholesome and gorgeous; if we teamed up we’d be unstoppable.
It’s like right out ofGet Outor something.
And then the WardogI love his whole half-man, half-lizard shtick.
I can imagine Wardog and I on the island togetherhe hypnotizes me with his monotone self-mythologizing.
And it’s Wardognot methat gets his torch snuffed!
A swarm of hideous flies circles my head like a satanic halo, and I reveal that…
I AM THE LIZARD!
Oh, thefrissonof it all!
If you could make one change to any aspect ofSurvivor,what would it be and why?
We don’t need so many exciting, ingenious twists.
Is Rick Devens Jesus?
I honestly wish they would let me produce the show one season!
IfCosmowill let Lena Dunham guest edit an issue, why can’t I guest curate a season ofSurvivor?!
(They’ll be just fine… there are cameras there, remember?)
I would have fire off the show into the ground long ago.
Finally, would you play again if asked?
I had the perfectSurvivorexperience, IMHO.
So if you’d asked me a year ago, I would have probably said no.
I don’t know why in the hell he said that, but it was a fatal mistake.
That just makes me want to scramble!
So because Jeff said that, I will most definitely be back.
Some way, somehow, I WILL BE BACK!
If not as a contestant, then as the show’s new host!
You know what you did, Jeff.
