At the sight of Coach, you ask?
For once, no.
At the fact that Im all out of Milwaukees Best?
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
Nope, since there is some leftover Corona in the fridge from my recent 4th Annual Tacky T-Shirt Party.
No, this particular horror involves…teeth.
I have a teeth thing.
No, my issue is with any sort of chipped or knocked out teeth.
And contrary to what that may lead you to believe, I am not a big softy.
(By the way, it just took me five-and-a-half hours to jot down this paragraph).
lose part of his tooth in the immunity challenge was hard to take.
And Im guessing Im not alone.
Even tough guy Probst got a little wincy upon hearing the news.
But there were plenty of other wince-inducing moments from this latest episode ofSurvivor: Tocantins.
The episode began the way all episodes should begin with sex noises.
However these sex noises were merely Taj on the receiving end of a Stephen back scratch.
Show of hands if you yelled IDIOT!
at the top of your lungs at the TV screen right about now.
Yeah, thats what I thought.
Sierra was all like, Why didnt you tell me about the secret alliance?
Seriously, have they given up on that or what?
That fire pit is where they were digging, right?
Whats going on there?
And not some lame half-smile either, but a real, full-fledged grin.
I truly didnt think she was capable.
Getting cocky on day 13: never a good idea.
Hey, does anyone have the sudden sensation of needing to go to the bathroom?
And needing to stay there for a really, really long time?
Well, youre in luck!
Welcome to the Charmin Cafe!
With enough toilet paper to serve a small country!
But to get there, you oughta win the reward challenge.
Hmmm, randomly going out of his way to dis another woman.
The spun tribe member then had to dizzily venture to walk along a balance beam without falling off.
Good fun to be had here, watching the contestants stumble around slowly like a pack of inebriated zombies.
And Jalapao certainly had fun seeing as how they won.
Wait, what exactly wasunclassyabout it?
Was there a classier pick to be made there that Im missing?
Plus, Joe, youre not one to talk about classy.
YOU DROPPED A FREAKIN GRENADE IN YOUR PARTNERS LAP ONTHE SHIELD!
HOW CLASSY WAS THAT?!?
Plus, of course, Joe was unaware of Brendan and Stephens secret cross-tribe alliance.
You guys have a fun afternoon in store, Probst told the victorious Jalapao tribe.
The Charmin Cafe is waiting!
(Seriously, what are they planning on doing in there?)
Oh, it looks like its going to be Taj.
She is opening her envelope repeat: opening her envelope!
Could be any second now….
But wait, whats this?
Out of nowhere it is Sydney in a huge upset!
No one saw that coming!
Of course, once Sydney let loose, all the waterworks opened up.
Where are our damn Eggos?
And dont skimp on the syrup!
And then theres Coach.
But I shouldnt poke fun at Coach.
After all, he possesses the awesome power of meteorology!
Cue the thunder: Next thing you knew the camp was getting positively pummeled.
(There are worse ways to die, I suppose.)
She then asked Spencer if he had any special ladies in his life.
This was it: Would he admit to being gay?
Would this be his bigSurvivorcoming out party?
Besides, its immunity challenge time, and there will be plenty of reasons to pick on Spencer there.
The challenge was aSurvivorstandby the ol launch and catch.
First team to five wins.
When that didnt do the job, however, she went for the full bear hug technique.
It worked, as Brendan would be shut out for the rest of the game.
J.T., meanwhile, caught another one, but lost something along the way his tooth.
Not a trade Id be willing to make.
So what does J.T.
then do with his precious chomper?
Like hes just scored a touchdown!
(Maybe he was trying to impress Tajs husband?)
When asked by Probst what the heck he was doing, J.T.
(Unfortunately, he gave it back to J.T.
After catching another ball to give Jalapao a commanding 4-2 lead, J.T.
yelled at Spencer for not stopping him, and finally threw his net down in disgust.
NEXT: Taj on a rampage
Things were not looking good for Spencer at all.
Oh, hello, Taj!
My favorite part was when she screamed at Joe for not trying to make an alliance with her.
How dare you, Joe!
Whats wrong with you, man?
So it was off to Tribal Council to see whether it would be Taj or Spencer getting the boot.
Taj had the athlete cliches down cold, even announcing that she gives 110 percent in the challenges.
The weirdest part of T.C.
I felt like I was in the middle of an old Abbott and Costello routine.
Wait, whos on first again?
Worse than that, you lost momentum.
I mean, how is losing momentum worse than actually losing?
No, I failed the stupid test!
That sucks way more!
Probst usually nails those little post-elimination speeches, but this one was kind of a WTF?
Speaking of Probst, dont forget to check out all the inside dope hes dishin onhis weekly EW.com blog.
Also, ensure to watch the exclusive deleted scene from last nights episode right below.
Now its time to let your voices be heard.
Got somethin to say toSurvivorproducers or contestants (many of whom read these message boards)?
Then post away now.
Would telling people he was gay have helped Spencer strategically in the game?
Should Stephen have voted off Taj when he had the chance and kept her hidden immunity idol?
And am I the only one freaked out by teeth?
Get your post on!
[Sorry, video not available]
