Two players leave the game while another leaves her mark in the most delightful way.
Oh, hey.Survivoris back.
What’s up, y’all?
Maryanne Oketch on ‘Survivor 42’.Robert Voets/CBS
But yeah, here we go again.
Happy to be here.
Anyway, all are welcome!
Jackson Fox on ‘Survivor 42’.Robert Voets/CBS
But speaking ofSurvivor 42cast members, there is something that needs to be said.
Get out of here, Rocksroy, with your cool name and impeccable work ethic!
See you later, Jenny, with your impressive triangle puzzle skills!
The Ika tribe on “Survivor 42'.Robert Voets/CBS
And take off, Omar, youanimal rectum obsessedCanadian!
And that goes for pretty much the entire rest of the cast as well.
Because this recap just became one big Maryanne Oketch stan account.
Zach on ‘Survivor 42’.Robert Voets/CBS
It’s all about Maryanne from here on out.
Sometimes a player just immediately jumps off the screen.
It happened with Cirie onPanama.
‘Survivor 42’ contestants.Robert Voets/CBS
It happened with Christian onDavid vs. Goliath.
And it has happened with Maryanne.
Sure, it starts with the smile that goofy, infectious, beaming, 500 wattage smile.
But even more than the smile, it’s the cry.
Jesus, just give her the money right now.
Am I betting with my heart instead of my head on this one?
But what else am I gonna do, make freakin' Romeo my winner pick?
(Actually, I probably should.
I think Romeo has some serious game.)
Just because I am a charter member of theSurvivorSkinny Guy alliance does not mean you are my winner pick.
Maryanne is my pick because how could she not be?
I will wish it into existence even though the winner was already crowned, like, nine months ago.
Because guess what, suckers?
Okay, you get the point.
I guess we should hit the other big non-Maryanne moments of the premiere just because why not?
So let’s get to it.
(Again,SurvivorSkinny Guy alliance.)
But you are now officially on double secret probation, Omar!
This part of the challenge requires zero effort from you!
So if you want, you’re free to grab your paddles and race back to your tribe.
You’re only moments into the game… and you already have your first big opportunity.”
Of course, they took the advantage.
How doesthatwork out???
I mean, there was plenty of mud and sand.
THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO APPLY THE BLOOD!
And yet they did.
I cannot express how inexplicably happy this entire development made me.
It was like Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Maryanne’s birthday all rolled into one.
Anyway, the blue tribe won.
Who are they again?
But a special shout out to Daniel Strunk for face-planting on the sand without being touched.
(I captured the entire thing on video, which you’re free to watch below.)
which is something you very rarely catch a glimpse of onSurvivor.
Reality gets real, people!
The Evil Amulet
We got into the twist and the challenge, but what about the mystery advantage itself?
And if only one person was left, the remaining amulet would turn into a full immunity idol.
Let me say this as plainly and clearly as I can: I love this twist.
First, you bond these three players together with a secret and an advantage.
So they are each depending on each other to keep quiet about what transpired.
So what happens if and when the trio all ends up on the same beach?
Like I said, I love this twist.
So many layers and so many different ways players could react to it.
An Early Exit
I was rooting for Jackson Fox going into the season.
Certainly an interesting journey to the island.
But his journeyonthe island would be cut short.
I don’t know how producers approached the situation.
This is not me reporting, but rather guessing.
Which was certainly the right call.
A tough break, but there are bigger battles out there to fight.
Here’s hoping Jackson continues to find happiness, fulfillment, and good health off the island.
What is that, a snake eating his own tail?
Why would it do that?
I have no idea, but it looks BADASS!
Seriously, that might be the coolest looking immunity idol we have had.
But this may be my favorite.
Anyway, the challenge itself was BRUTAL.
Definitely not a prime competition for theSurvivorSkinny Guy alliance.
Hell, Zach couldn’t even get it done on the puzzle.
Making us spindly dorks look bad!
So Ika had a date with Probst at Tribal to vote somebody out of the game.
Yeah, that was gone by day three.
By the time they got to Tribal Council, nobody looked happy.
And boy was Tori coming on strong.
I thought she had the strategic smarts and the social game to go really far.
Now, I am not so sure about the latter.
Of course, Tori stayed because Zach went.
Two super-fans continuing the trend of super-fans struggling in the early stages of the game.
He seemed to make a scrawny weakling connection with Romeo, but that was it.
Even Swati wanted him gone.
After all, so did Tina Wesson.
Speaking of the Prisoner’s Dilemma and Shot in The Dark, this is a big change forSurvivor.
I mean, they are not changes at all; they were totally there last season.
But the big change is the decision to not tell the new contestants about them.
Apparently when they dropped the 4, they also dropped that rule along with it.
I don’t really have a preference one way or the other.
So, to recap.
Maryanne is the best.
Give her the million dollars.
And may these Evil Amulets slowly turn their possessors into Fijian Gollums in their quest for reality TV glory.
Solid start all around.
And we’re not even done!
And if you missed any of the funpre-game videosI did with the cast, opt for links below.
Some really good stuff in there.
