The comedian returns with Mo’Nique’s F.A.T.
Chance(Oxygen, July 15, 8 p.m.), the beauty pageant she created for plus-size peeps.
Could we stump this apostrophed entertainer with a round of Stupid Questions?
Where do we start?
Shall we hate on some skinny bitches?
You cannot be happy with an empty stomach baby carrots and celery wont cut it.
You need a nice steak with a baked potato with sour cream and butter.
If you look at every fat girl on the street, shes smiling because shes full I promise you.
Im with three fat gals right now, all of them happy.
If MoNique were to engage in a Mo-down with Moesha, what would happen?
Child, of course I would win!
I would just blow.
We aint gotta exchange no punches.
By the way, whats a Mo-down?
A Mo-down could be a couple different things.
Ive had a Mo-down with my man, and thats why we have twins.
Your pageant is calledF.A.T.
Chance, yet you were also in the recent moviePhat Girlz.
Help a white guy out: How do I know if something is f-a-t or p-h-a-t?
When its fat, you see our double belly, our full necks, our fat backs.
Phat was something they took from us.
Phat is: Were trying to be hip.
Thats how you know the difference.
I dont feel so white anymore.
There you go, baby!
I know you have a black man inside of you!
When your stand-up career took off, you quit your job as an MCI customer-service rep.
Many years ago, I called you guys and was put on hold for 28 minutes.
What were you really doing while I was waiting?
We werent that damn busy.
I was like, I dont feel like being bothered right now, sugar.
Baby, putting on makeup.
Having me a little snack.
Making another long-distance call because it was free.
You were quoted inEssencemagazine as saying: Ive always had real brothers around me who said I looked sexy….
Personally, I cant wait for Hugh Hefner to call to ask me to pose nude.
That was two years ago.
Im still waiting for Hugh to call.
Put it in there and quote me: Hugh, stop trippin.
My numbers still the same.
