Tabitha reveals Jughead’s fate and Betty might be pregnant in this week’s Riverdale.
Sometimes, the answer to all of an insane town’s problems is just to talk it out.
But we had a more dire prognostication to deal with: The apocalypse."
Madelaine Petsch on ‘Riverdale’.Michael Courtney/The CW
Nobody and I mean nobody loves drama like Jughead Jones.
Then, instead of letting Archie figure out who’s watching her, they decide to have sex!
Because nothing puts these people in the mood quite like knowing a creeper might be watching!
Archie says he isn’t seeing anyone else, and Betty is relieved because her period is late.
Speaking of that traumatizing time, Archie finally asks Betty how she escaped from TBK.
And it’s not the heroic escape you probably imagined!
Either she’d dismember a body for him or he’d kill her.
So, to get to survive, Betty obviously dismembered the body.
And that’s all great and interesting, but can we talk about how jacked TBK is?!
Whatever, this is all to tie us back to the pregnancy test.
Fangs and Tony/Kevin and Moose
Yes, you read that correctly: Moose is back!
But we’ll get to that.
With that, Kevin agrees to dinner.
But thanks to the fog, he never makes it.
Instead, he gets stuck in the high school with the new PE teacher: Moose!
(It also leads to Kevin experiencing some serious Gargoyle King-related nightmares.)
She convinces him that they need to keep things friendly with Kevin for Anthony’s sake.
After one foggy night, Fangs is looking forward to going to court.
Reggie and Veronica
Oh these two.
For like five minutes it seems like they’re going to get back together.
Veronica even calls them a “good match.”
But when Reggie asks her to get rid of the painting of Hiram, things take a turn.
Suddenly, we’re talking about Archie again and how Reggie feels like a consolation prize.
They then come to the conclusion that they’re a good match because they’re actually bad.
Regardless, they break up and Veronica takes down that creepy painting.
Cheryl and Penelope
Penelope is a nun now!
I repeat: Penelope is a nun!
But first, she has to wrap up her unfinished business with her daughter.
But before Cheryl can literally boil her mother to death, Penelope reveals her surprise: Letters from Heather.
Heather then moved away and Cheryl thought she forgot about her.
But it turns out that she wrote her!
She wrote her 365 letters!
She wrote her every day for a year!
But she did write her a lot of letters.
Cheryl then sobs her way through her letters as Penelope asks one final time for her daughter’s forgiveness.
(TBD on whether she grants it.)
But if she does that, they can’t defeat Percival.
She explains that she’s seen 1,384 different scenarios play out, and only twice do they beat Percival.
(Okay, Doctor Strange.)
And there’s something else: Jughead dies in every scenario.
But hey, it’s not the first time the guy’s been destined to die.
I’m not entirely sure.
