Im very confused right now, says Luke, who knows exactly whats happening. but the Bachelorette does not cave. So, is this it? Credit: ABC Does that mean I go home tonight? After a pause, Hannah replies: Yes. Oh, rose lovers, if only we could celebrate this moment! ABC If only the stupid promos didnt already show us that Luke isnt actually gone! But for now, lets us cherish this image of Luke the Asshat reeling in defeat....
In 2020, we need to take our victories when we can however small. This week, rose lovers, newBachelorettestar Tayshia rid the world of a hideous scourge. Not all heroes wear capes, folks. Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin Other stuff happened, too. They head over to… Awww, its Ashley and Jared, Bachelor Nations most successful romantic disasters! Like, can you tell time basic. ABC Harvard might have to drop their tuition prices after seeing Bennetts performance today, notes Ed....
Hometown-dates week on The Bachelorette spirals into chaos when Katie’s relationship with Greg suddenly implodes. Quick question: What the hell just happened, rose lovers? First though, a trip over the imaginary border. Greg and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.Credit: ABC Down the hatch, Katie! But did we need to know that Blake has used syrup in the bedroom before? No, we did not. ABC It’s also possible that it was a total coincidence....
Remember when Tony Soprano told his family toremember the little moments, rose lovers? Im going to venture to remember that advice this week. So, hooray this was actually a real episode, with new action rather than40 minutes of rehashed clips! ABC (Remember, rose lovers, letsfocus on the good things. Otherwise, we might all lose our damn minds.) I want this week to remind me why Im here, she says. ABC...
This week’s episode ofThe Bachelorettemarked Michelle’s final three dates in Palm Springs. To celebrate, she handed out roses with abandon including to a man who absolutely didn’t deserve it. “You’ve cleansed some negative energy,” saysKaitlyn, during her pre-game chat with Michelle. Chris falls back.ABC )Tayshiaarrives with the first one-on-one date card of the week. And it goes to… Martin? Feels a little random, but okay. This just makes me sad.ABC...
Fool us once, Hannah, shame on you. If youre sticking around, join me as we break down the latest leg of Hannahs journey. Whats a baby-faced investment analyst gotta do to get a second one-on-one date, Hannah? Credit: ABC Were not English!) (Props to theBachelorinterns for finding yet another cute foreign couple who proves rapid courtships can work.) I just dont know what to say to these guys that I really have feelings for, she laments....
Happy Tuesday before Thanksgiving, rose lovers! Hope everyone stays safe (and at home) for the holiday weekend. Before we all adjourn to chow down on some turkey, lets chew over this weeks episode ofThe Bachelorette. Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC (Im sorry, that was just terrible. And thenChris Harrisoncomes in to twist the knife just a little bit more. You shaved the mustache, and you got the rose on a date you werent even on!...
Bienvenidos a Mexico, rose lovers! Mexico looks pretty, as does our Bachelorette. “We’re not really friends because we’re competing for the same girl,” notes Joe. Michelle Young.ABC “It is awkward, very awkward.” And it’s only going to get awkwarder! (Yes, I know that’s not a word.) Awkward…ABC (Spoiler: She will.) Brandon, you’re up! Literally up on a horse. Brandon and Michelle.ABC A lot of firsts for Brandon today. It’s his first time being out of the country, and his first time on a horse....
Before we begin, quick question: Nayte is from Austin, right? Why does his travel neck pillow have what seems to be a Canadian flag motif? I’m probably overthinking things. Nayte hits the road with the guys.ABC We’re off to Minneapolis! Mom and dad seem genuinely happy to hear that their darling daughter is making some “connections.” These two are the best, aren’t they? Michelle’s breastbone deserves better.ABC First stop: Target Field, where the Bachelorette throws out the first pitch of the game....
The dates start on The Bachelorette, but Clare thinks the guys aren’t trying hard enough. Good Lord, rose lovers, its week 2 and were skipping rose ceremonies already? Of course, this is no ordinary season ofThe Bachelorette. Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC I dont know what to do! Dont worry, honey the producers have that covered. Over at the guys villa (or whatever),Chris Harrisonhas arrived with a date card. ABC Side note: Was there a sale on pastel tees at the La Quinta gift shop?...
The second coming of Jesus Christ. The third season ofWestworld. The moment Alabama Hannah realizes Luke P. is a sexist douche-boat and sends his ass packing. Credit: ABC Apologies, Im getting ahead of myself, rose lovers. Lets talk Fantasy Suite dates. Hannah and her dudestravel by mapto the absolutely breathtaking island of Crete, Greece. ABC It is a dream place to fall in love, notes Hannah. Sing it, sister! Its been a long time since Ive been physical at all with a man, says Hannah....
Well, that was… interesting, rose lovers. “This is the most critical week by far,” says Clayton. Adds Rodney, “I can’t imagine how she’s gonna decide.” Finally, the men fit on the couch!.ABC Well Rodney, we’ll tell you! Meet Luke, Kelsey, Ahmed, and Jayleen. “These kids have been in Miss Young’s classroom,” says Michelle. Bachelor/Bachelorette class of 2039.ABC The questions are on point:Who has the worst breath in the house? Have you ever been grounded?...
This week, he was exposed as a lying liar who lies in front of everyone, including Michelle! and was summarily shown the door. “It’ll be interesting to see if that information ever comes to light.” Michelle is on the wings of love.ABC issue was the one filling her head with lies? Whatever the reason, Jamie is loving the fact that he’s still in the clear. (Props to Peter for pretending to know who they are....
