Bad form, gang.
Now to the business of how theNew Girlgang got a new loftmate…
It all began when Jesss mom called.
Credit: Fox
At which point Jess was immediately in a pickle completely of her own creation.
Nick was insistent upon (and even super-excited about) meeting Abby.
Within seconds of meeting her, we understood why Jess was in a tizzy.
She fled the apartment.
Jess eventually found Abby in the act of fleecing a hotel lobby bar server.
Working in Jesss favor, Schmidt enlisted Nick for a nights worth of shenanigans.
In the heat of the moment, though Schmidt made it all about how Nick had abandoned him.
Nick, however, had become insecure that Jess was ashamed ofhim.
Jess should have milked it!
In turn, Nick said he was sorry for failing as a wingman.
Schmidt said wistfully, What happened to us, man?
We used to be the best in the biz!
Eh, Schmidt la vie.
The guys went home and both confronted Jess for being embarrassed of Nick.
Jess denied it, and Abby strode out to corroborate that Jess was actually embarrassed of her.
Side effect: Jess and Nick are officially cohabitating in Nicks room.
Pressures on, lovahs!
As youll recall,they went out on their first datemonths ago, and she never texted him back.
Winston told him to suck it up: Be a man, Coach!
Be there by six, and bring a bottle of wine.
And dont be cheap, either.
Bertie is a Somalian.
I think sommelier is the word youre looking for, Winny the Bish.)
Cece was clearly nervous, too, and they pre-gamed with some Scotch to ease their nerves.
The truth came out at the dinner.
Between slurps, Coach claimed Cece had iced [him] out.
Winston tried to distract them by recommending the Fishermans Bisque (Is that tang?
), but soon enough they were fighting as foreplay.
They agreed to be friends, only to go in for another kiss that may have chipped Ceces tooth.
So, what did you think,Newbies?
Are you excited for more Linda Cardellini?
Sad for the hotness well lose in a possible Coach/Cece relationship?
Or happy that Schmidts path to Ceces heart is clear once more?
Should Nick and Jess rock giant sunglasses all the time?
Ponder your answers while you drink in the Dotables like one of Berties many soups!
Notable Dotables…
Nick:Well, I cant wait to the meet the mysterious Abby Day.
Jess:Not mysterious… a jet-setter.
Nick:Look, I just want to make a good impression on Jesss sister.
Schmidt:Yeah, well I want Julia Child not to be dead, but here we find ourselves.
Nick:What is this?
Schmidt:A bar mitzvah.
Nick:I amnotwatching a kid get circumcised.
Jewish continuity, et cetera, et cetera…. [And later, a new plan.]
[Nick,] I need you to ruin this bar mitzvah.
Rachel:Thank you!
Uh…shabbat sha-hello!
Schmidt:Haha, yeah!
It wasnt as good as mine, but it was cute.
Rabbi Feiglin:No!
You will not speak to my daughter.
Rachel, this man is a nutball!
Schmidt:A nutball?
Rabbi Feiglin:Sammy Davis Jr. was a goofball.
Outside Dave:Sorry, Im doing my taxes.
[Inputs numbers on an imaginary calculator] Oooh!
Im taking in more than Im spending.
Quick question: Is peepee a write-off?
Abby:Mom was right, [Nick] does have an uptown butt.
Abby:Id like to put that butt in ski pants.
Jess:What does that mean?
