King Arthur plus a three-headed robo-dragon, and that’s just the prologue!
Bay himself nowsayshe “should have stopped” makingTransformersfilms earlier.Steven Spielbergtold him to only make three.
It’s my favorite of Bay’s pentalogy and not something anyone should regret.
Mark Wahlberg in ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’.Paramount Pictures/Bay Films
The film opens with King Arthur battling the Saxon hordes.
The time is England, the place is the Dark Ages, or something.
The magician is drunk.
Also, he’s not a real magician.
Turns out Merlin’s magic was Transformers all along.
This prologue features two armies, one robo-dragon, and multiple flaming catapults.
It seems to be striving awkwardly to extend the franchise’s canon back throughout famous moments in human history.
The whole battle sequence looks gorgeous, whatever the plot ridiculousness involved.
And thenLast Knightcuts to deep space, where Optimus Prime is a floating cosmic iceberg.
Someone blows Bumblebee to pieces, and then the pieces fight back.
Did I mention every country hates the Transformers except Cuba?
Did I mention the Transformers fight the Nazis in World War II?
Did I mentionMark Wahlberghas long hair now?
Just sort of clashing.Reeeeaaaahhha.
All Bay’sTransformersfilms are all over the place.
There is an intense polo match.
Anthony Hopkins does not phone in his performance as Sir Edmund Burton, more or less the Dumbledore ofTransformers.
Jim Carter ultimatizes hisDownton Abbeybutler to voice a robot attendant named Cogman.
The Last Knightis two and a half hours long, which wait, wait, come back!
No question, like all the live-actionTransformersfilms, there is way too much exposition and mythology.
I demand no such delusion!
The aspect ratio changes frequently.
The middle hour should probably be a middle minute.
But the visuals can stun.
In the final act, Earth becomes a microwave that turns people into popcorn.
At least that’s what Tony Hale’s scientist says.
Couldn’t have said it better.
