We hope youll digest the spectacle with us.
Know whatll help it go down?
Annie:Yeah, culture shock!
Mandi:Shes just lovely.
Mandi:Okay, I want to be at Robert Downey Jr.s table.
Did you see him cracking up behind Clint Eastwood?
Annie:Oh good, I was wondering when wed first get to see Miley Cyrus tongue.
Anne Hathaway literally skipped over to Laura Linney.
Ill have what shes having.
Annie:Drugs, I think.
Oh no wait, wrong persona.
Annie:Did you see Robert Downey Jr.s face upon the announcement of Simon and Eva?
Maybe he cant believe how hot Simon Baker is, either, Mandi.
You guys have so much in common.
Mandi:TV stars really dont get respect.
The room wouldnt shut up for Simon and Eva Longoria.
Annie:Alec Baldwin looks like hes sucking on some sour candy.
Or maybe he just felt something in his ball?
The formerBuffyandGilmore Girlsstar wroteRecount.
Annie:But lets not overlook Laura Derns most important distinction: MIss Golden Globe, 1982.
Mandi:I have to say, the ladies are taking some serious risks with their hair tonight.
I dont get Lauras.
Is it supposed to be hanging down on the left side like that?
Annie:I dont know, but she should never go fluffy.
Mandi:I have to agree with our reader, Wesley.
Rumer Willis does look great.
Annie:Yes, hair is hilarious.
Mandi:Hotel for Dogsstar Don Cheadle.
Pretty sure he wants to die now.
Mandi:But not until he gets cast in a Coen Brothers movie.
Annie:Haha, he called Brad Pitt dumb.
Who else in the audience could get away with that?
Annie:Probably Miley Cyrus.
Mandi:President of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association promises a short speech, and the crowd cheers.
Well done, sir!
Mandi:JON HAMM makes it all better.
Annie:He always does.
Speaking of categories that are prestigious, its Hayden and Zac Efron!
Mandi:Zac Efrons hair is hurting me.
Mandi:Best actor in a TV drama goes to Gabriel Byrne for HBOsIn Treatment.
Couldnt they have had Jon Hamm accept it for him?
I need to see that tux walk.
Annie:Really, Hollywood Foreign Press?
Mandi:you’re gonna wanna simmer down, HBO.
Mandi:They need to have E!s pre-show Star Tracker on Anne Hathaway all night.
That girl is getting around.
Mandi:How rude are you lot, just cause youre film stars?
Can you believe they didnt ask me to host the Oscars?
And spent 15 minutes after the film saying all of our colleagues names inWALL-Espeak.
Annie:I dont know what you mean, Maa-ahhh-end-iiiiiii.
Annie:Finally, someone who doesnt appear totally sober: Johnny Depp.
Shes so emotional.. and skinny.
Annie:SO skinny, jeez.
Can her speech possibly go on as long as it took for her to get up to the stage?
Annie:Officially, yes.
Annie:Has Drew Barrymore beenKissing Jessica Lange?
They look very cozy.
And, as our commenters have pointed out, Drews sporting some wicked bed head.
Mandi:They present the award for best TV miniseries or movie to… HBOsJohn Adams.
Exec producer and speed talker Tom Hanks accepts.
Annie:Supporting actor.
I wouldnt mind if Ralph Fiennes won this.
I loved him inThe Duchess.
I clearly have no respect for the deceased.
Mandi:Im pretending I dont know you right now.
Heath Ledger wins best supporting actor forThe Dark Knight.
Annie:Very classy, and for once no one in the audience is smirking.
Annie:I guess youcould.
Mandi:I love Brian Grazers hair.
Annie:Way to reference your former drug habit, Colin Farrell!
Mandi:The winner: IsraelsWaltz With Bashir.
Annie:Oh I love that…an ancient videogame that has nothing to do with their lives whatsoever.
Annie:Here are the nominees for most ferocious(ly bad) dress: Maggie Gyllenhaal!
Maggie will be running unopposed.
Mandi:Its a little Fashion Bug Formal.
Yet, not bad for her.
Mandi:Best actress in a miniseries or TV movie goes to… Laura Linney for HBOsJohn Adams.
Mandi:Is there anyone who doesnt love Laura Linney?
I laughed so hard I got distracted from admiring the handsome Gerard Butler, who introducedIn Bruges.
Annie:Coke Joke tally: 2.
Thanks, Seth Rogen!
Lets venture to up it 6 by 11 p.m., everyone.
Mandi:No cut to Mickey Rourke though.
He and Elizabeth Banks present best screenplay toSlumdog Millionairescribe Simon Beaufoy.
Alec says he feels old remembering that he used to bring Rumer Willis a juicebox on movie sets.
He was funnier in E!s pre-show.
Annie:The whole show should be dubbed in the Dempsey/Poehler echo effect from now on.
Annie:Is this a joke?
Im going to see the contours of Renee Zellwegers strapless bra in my nightmares tonight.
Annie:Whata job.
It got Paul smoking again.
Annie:And a rather racist one for30 Rock!
Annie:Deal with it, Cate Blanchett.
Mandi:Tina Fey is working some serious cleavage tonight.
He just called Jeff Zucker JZ.
Annie:Deal with it, Jay-Z!
Annie:Way to give the ending away, Brosnan.
Annie:Kates earrings remind me of Wilhelminas on this weeksUgly Betty.
Backhanded compliment: Those earrings make your face look small.
Mandi:David Duchovny wants his son to know that hes happy even though he just lost his category.
He also wants us to know that hes still married to Tea Leoni.
Tina Fey wins for best actress in a comedy.
Annie:Trash those Internet haters, Boobs McTina Fey!
Annie:Time for the Cecil B. DeMille Award, from Scorsese to Spielberg.
Or, in the highbrow words of commenter Curt, Time to take a dump.
He lost me when he started talking about mentors.
Annie:Best Bauble in an Awards Show or TV Miniseries: Emma Thompsons enormous blue diamond ring.
Mandi:I love how much Emma Thompson towers over Dustin Hoffman.
They present best director to…Danny Boyle forSlumdog Millionaire.
Mandi:Mad, pulsating affection my favorite phrase ever.
Mandi:GG for me still stands forGilmore Girls, Danny Boyle.
Can we get another coke joke?
Annie:I…[sniff]…hope so!
Though his high-energy ramble is pretty much doing the trick itself…
Annie:I LOVE Colins plaid vest.
Also, I want to use Flemish in a blog post just because Ive never before.
Annie:I tend to not recognize Sacha Baron Cohen without a ridiculous costume.
Annie:I had afeelingGuy Ritchie was one of Madonnas personal assistants!
Its okay to laugh, audience members.
Mandi:Cohen presents best motion picture comedy toVicky Cristina Barcelona.
But at least thats fitting…right this second.
Mandi:Cameron Diazs pink dress is hideous.
Annie:She somehow ruined a not very complicated scripted bit.
But I actually dig the dress!
Mandi:You also like the costumes onDancing With the Stars.
Cameron and Mark Wahlberg present best actress in a movie drama to Kate Winslet forRevolutionary Road.
She did something no one else on earth could: Forget Angelina Jolies name!
Annie:Whos the other one?
Dont be sorry, Kate!
Shes right, this book RULES.
Everyone: Read it first.
Annie:SPOTTED: S and D, admittedly out of their element as TV actors.
Annie:YESSSSSSSSSSSSMAD MEN.
Bop along to the jazzy version of the theme song!
Annie:Better question: How is Christina Hendricks not wearing something low-cut in a jewel tone?
Annie:Mickey Rourke wins Best Actor forThe Wrestler!
His hair wins…[crickets].
Mandi:Wrestlerdirector Darren Aronofsky just gave Mickey Rourke the middle finger.
Is that a fine?
Annie:I think its just fine.
Annie:Spiffy Tom Cruise gives Best Picture to…Slumdog Millionaire!
Mandi:They serve martinis at the Globes as well as champagne?
Annie:There should be a whole separate movie calledThe Girl in the Mustard Dress.
Cant stop staring at Freida Pinto.
Mandi:I guess we were on a delay.
They just bleeped a f!
Annie:F that.
Goodnight, everyone thanks for reading!
(Good luck with that, Renee!)
