ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Your new book is calledMr.
Know It All: The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder.
The book is mostly memoir, but theres definitely an element of advice.
Credit: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images
The worst place ever to be on a bookshelf is in the humor section, then youre next toPeanutsbooks.
I want it up front!
It a self-help book, yes.
You write about planning your acid trip very carefully.
Loving everybody is my idea of hell.
Oh my God, that sounds like the most horrible experience I could ever imagine.
This year I also had another spark of makingFruitcake, a childrens Christmas movie.
So I dont know that Im through.
If I am though, Im absolutely fine with that.
People say to me Oh I bet you had so much fun making movies!
Twenty hours days with no money?
I have great memories, Im proud when I look back on them.
But fun is when Im off work.
Fun is having a martini with a friend in Provincetown on a beautiful night.
Of all your movies, youve calledHairspraythe gift that keeps on giving.Yes!
And now they have it in every high school, not just in America but everywhere.
Thats whats so great.
I always said to him, Are you crazy?
The point of being in show business is to become so famous that you cant go out!
But Johnny at the time wanted to be taken more seriously, and he did it the right way.
In a good way, because I make fun of things I love!
But they always smell a rat, and that rat is me.
Not only was he good, he just looked like such a movie star.
He just couldnt play the sidekick to Johnny Depp he had to be quirky looking.
But I like Brad, I think hes smart and Im a fan of his forever.
He picks good projects and he handles being a celebrity well, too.
Dont go out with 40 bodyguards, get a sty rental!
There arent any anymore, so you have to be even more original or else youre trying too hard.
When I read reviews that call a movie John Waters-esque, I usually hate it.
I think, Thats just because its gross or it has drag queens!
I always say that the closest in spirit to my early movies was Johnny Knoxville because of hisJackassmovies.
He would have eaten dog s, he said he would!
Ive talked to him about it.
What about a movie of your own life?
Your friendMatthew Gray Gublerhas said hed like to play you.A biopic?
I want to be dead when that happens, because I know Ill object to it.
For the older parts though, Steve Buscemi should play me because people always think Im him.
But Im a bad dancer, thats why.
You watch it and you love it.
And I was never gladder than when Nancy Grace lost, just because shes the enemy of prisoner rights.
And you cant do that when youre wearing $100,000 in fashion, really.
Im not saying its over, but everyones too aware now.
But I love the Met, are you kidding?
They own a couple of my pieces, and thats almost camp to me.
Hes like the pat on the back, Good little queer.
And he says Who am I to judge?
Youre the fin pope!
What do you mean Who am I?
You have the power to change everything!
Im sorry, the [Church] are my enemy.
I would advise against it.
The pope Im fine with [writing about] thats a lifetime appointment.
[Laughs]
Youve said that Elvis helped you realize you were gay.
I never had, like, a gay bar mitzvah.
It wasnt easy, my parents were not so comfortable.
I mean, he backedPink Flamingos!
People do thank me and its moving to me, Im happy about that.
But I was no brave person.
I didnt have anywhere else to sell my movies, really.
So I was over being an outsider a long time ago.
Its much more challenging to be an insider and be deviant and change things.
