WhenJeff Probstshows up on your beach, it is never with good news.
And when it happened on the premiere ofSurvivor 42, it was not good news for Jackson Fox.
The 48-year-old had been experiencing lightheadedness out on the island.
Jackson Fox on ‘Survivor 42’.Robert Voets/CBS
How does Jackson feel now about how everything went down both on the show and behind the scenes?
JACKSON FOX:I’d gotten on medication for my mom so I could start sleeping.
It was lithium, and everybody gets that fear.
I had a fear of it, because I’d never been on medication in my life.
And I I’d been on it for about three years.
Unfortunately, I was on the tail end of it when I got onSurvivor.
And, of course, they do the medical background.
We’ll just see what we can do."
And it’s weird: I noticed it the second day.
And I saw Jeff coming.
I thought, “This can’t be good.
This is never good.
He never comes on beach.”
And he was very respectful, but I wasn’t going to shy away from it.
I really wanted to put it out there that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I was happy they cared more about my well-being than me playing the game and getting hurt.
They could have left me in there and said, “This could make a really good show.”
He was like, “You tell me what you want to do and we’ll do it.”
And I was like, “Let’s just talk about it.
Let’s take the stigma away from being on medication.”
Let’s give it a shot, but we’re gonna monitor you really closely."
And I remember Marya was sitting next to me and she’s like, “Are you good?”
I’m like, “I’m good.
I think I’m just tired.”
You know, we haven’t slept any, we haven’t stopped, we haven’t eaten anything.
And I really wasn’t putting it together until the next morning.
I felt like, “Hmmm, doesn’t feel very good.”
Well, you did have that challenge to start the game, and that was pretty intense.
It’s interesting to hear that you said you felt okay on day 1.
I felt fine after the challenge.
I was tired, but I thought, “Well, that’s just my age.”
I felt it more that night, I think.
And [Lindsay] was correct about it.
She said, “You’ve gotta see to it you’re drinking water.”
You don’t think about it.
You’re not thinking, “Oh, drink water!”
And now it’s funny.
I drink water all the time.
Now I’m very paranoid and drink it all the time.
How’d you feel once you got to Ponderosa and were out of the game and able to rehydrate?
I started to get my bearings again.
And then I realized how off I was.
And then when you finally sit down and relax, you realize how disorienting everything is.
And then it took about a day, and I felt completely fine.
But I knew it was the best call.
That’s not how I wanna go out onSurvivor.
I remember I looked at him and said, “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
I mean, I really couldn’t figure it out.
You’re angry at yourself for not taking the right precautions.
You’re sad about leaving.
You’re not mad at Jeff.
You’re just mad at the situation.
And I just broke and I cried on the way back.
You told the tribe on your first night about how you had transitioned.
I thought about it a lot.
And I thought the only way I can play this game is if I’m who I am.
I don’t wanna hide it.
This is forme."
For 40 years, I was a miserable person.
And it won’t be on their time.
It’s gonna be on your family’s time, not yours.
You always want it to be now, now, now, and the bottom line is, it’snotnow.
It took my family eight years.
And now I couldn’t imagine not having the relationship I have with my father.
We call each other every day.
We see each other all the time, we hang out, he calls me son.
We literally have a bond we never had growing up my entire life.
You’re not alone.
There’s a ton of support out there.
You just have to open yourself up for the support.
And that’s what I did with my tribe.
I wanted them to know I was an honest person.
I wasn’t trying to skate by.
I wanted them to know the real me.
And I had the call from casting the guy said, “You applied when?”
“I was like, “Oh, that’d have been probably about 11 years ago.”
And he was like, “Really?”
And I said, “Yeah, it was a really bad spot.”
I thought the best way to escape was to go on an island.
You hate everything about yourself, so go on an island.
Wouldn’t have been the best move.
And he was like, “c’mon tell me the story.”
And I was like, “Well, sure.
I’ll definitely tell you the story.”
And it’s weird.
Oh, I’m transgender.
Oh, this is scary.”
That’s a huge thing.
And [the tribe] took it very well.
They were like, “You don’t look like you would be transgender.”
Omar just kept looking at me going, “I just can’t see it.”
I said, “I know that’s kinda the part of it.”
Did your dad watch the episode last night?
And, if so, have you had a chance to chat with him about it?
It’s hard to talk about my mom with my dad.
They were together when they were 15 and she passed away at 74.
So they were together that entire time.
And so he had not seen those pictures yet and didn’t know.
You showed our relationship in such a positive way when it could have come off very negative."
And I was like, “Well, I don’t see it that way.
I see it as growing.
And I meant those exact words.”
He said, “I feel horrible that you were away for 10 years.”
That’s when we were supposed to come back."
And he held my head and he cried.
And that to me was worth going onSurvivorfor any day of the week.
That was worth it.
You’re on a boat.
You’re with people building a shelter.
You’re in the middle of nowhere.
It’s everything that you watch on TV.
And it’s all compact.
Those are the two most important moments of my life.
And I’d do it all over again.
Even if I knew I had only two to three days, I’d still do it all over.
