Here, EW can reveal the cover and an exclusive look inside the book.
I don’t blame you.
But I do think you owe me an explanation.
Credit: courtesy david levithan
I know you’re gone.
We all know you’re gone.
What an exquisitefuck youto her and Darren a perfectly made bed.
Like it had never been slept in.
Like you’d never been here at all.
How many times have they yelled at you to make that bed?
How many times have you refused?
(Hint: The answer to both questions is the same number.)
And now: You left everything smooth and blank.
I wasn’t the one who found your room like that.
Suddenly Mom was screaming your name.
Again and again, angry at first, then something elsemaybe ten percent scared.
(It maxed out there, about ten percent.)
Darren didn’t look up from his toast either.
But then Mom came storming into the kitchen and launched right into meWhere is your sister?
Tell me right now where she is.
Sounding guilty as I tried so hard to sound innocent.
As an answer, we took a family trip up to your room.
That’s when I saw your bed and thought,Oh, wow.
She’s taken off.
The minute I got to my room, I knew exactly where to look.
I’m guessing you thought it would take me longer, but it didn’t.
You know exactly what I found.
And what I didn’t find.
Look, I don’t blame you for taking the money.
I’m not at all surprised that you took the money.
In fact, I’m going to confess to you that I have more than one hiding place.
It was whether you’d left me something in return.
You do realize how hard this is going to be, right?
You do realize what you’ve left me with?
“), some prep time would have been nice too.
I would’ve liked a goodbye.
But for now, I’ll settle for you telling me where you are.
I’m hoping it’s not something I did.
I don’t think I’m the reason, but I just have to put that out there.
It’s going to be very hard to make it through your disappearance without you.
And no, I can’t tell you where I’ve gone or why.
What I can tell you is that yes, I’m gone for good.
Goodbye, Hidden Valley Circle.
It’s surprisingly easy.
There was no hope for her.”
I almost wish I was going to be there to see it.
I’m sorry about the money.
And I’m sorry about leaving without a goodbye.
This was never meant to be afuck youto you.
Of all the people in my life, you’re the last person I would do that to.
That’s why I broke the rules and created this email address.
If it wasn’t for you, I’d never look back.
What I can also tell you is:
I didn’t leave for the reasons you’re thinking.
If it ever gets too much living with Mom and Darren, go stay with Terrence.
The sooner you let go of that, the better.
And don’t think of me as Beatrix anymore.
“Beatrix” is the old life.
New life, new name, or at least one I’ve decided to borrow for a bit.
Love,
Me
p.s.
Use a private web app every time.
NEVER autofill the password.
Even when you’re on your own phone.
