In praise of Goldie and rocks.
Vic confesses to murdering one of Melinda’s boyfriends almost immediately.
Everyone assumes he is joking.
Finn Wittrock in ‘Deep Water’.Claire Folger/20th Century Studios
Then Melinda’s next boyfriend winds up floating dead in a swimming pool during a party.
Then that guy’s corpse refuses to stay hidden.
Then, finally, viewers learn a valuable lesson about the dangers of texting while driving.
Ben Affleck in ‘Deep Water’.Claire Folger/20th Century Studios
“Tony was the first American I f—ed!”
is how Melinda cheerfully introduces her latest boy toy to her husband.
One tense drive out into a remote corner of the wilderness later, Vic stops the car.
Now, in some movies, this would be the moment when the killer meticulously eliminates his prey.
Instead, Vic picks up a small rock and throws it at Tony’s head.
Then he picks up a bigger rock and throws it at Tony’s chest.
Does anyone read Xenophon?
“Vic is a genius and he’s rich as f—!”
is about all we get backstory-wise from his pal Grant (Lil Rel Howery).
When pressed about his current job, Vic vaguely explains that he does some kind of photo publishing.
He isn’t lying.
10" of something calledXenophon.
The issue is dedicated to Melinda and features various shimmery photos of her and her clothes.
This gesture may or may not save their marriage.
It remains frustratingly unclear what the other nine issues have been about.
How much does the Van Allens' daughter know about their bad behavior?
She tells him this while the camera moodily zooms into her own sinking scuba toy.
Did he really need to text his wife right at that moment?
It’s a tortoise and the hare situation, if the hare had a smartphone.
“This is a book!”
He pulls out his phone and tries to text “I was right.”
He takes his eyes off the road: “Goddamn f—ing autocorrect!”
He drops the phone and tries to pick it up.
The water is not deep, but it doesn’t matter.
Can Vic actually dance?
“You ever see Vic dance before?”
asks Vic’s friend Jonas (Dash Mihok.)
Across the yard, Kristen (Rachel Blanchard) asks Melinda, “Is that Vic dancing?
I didn’t know he could dance.”
What makes this interesting is that Vic just keeps spinning Kelly in a circle.
(By my count, we see eight spins.)
I ask you, is that dancing?
Does Goldie ever go inside?
In my favorite scene of the movie, Vic crashes the Wilsons' dinner.
He reveals that he knows Don and Melinda hired a private investigator to follow him.
Kelly, who likes Don and generally despises her husband, is embarrassed and horrified.
Now, the movie does not seem to think Goldie is important.
In the end credits, the Wilsons' daughter is credited asWilson Daughter.
She’s played by an actress named Goldie Wilson.
Knowing nothing whatsoever, I assume the decision to name the character “Goldie” was an on-set improvisation.
“Goldie, go inside!”
Kelly says when the adults start swearing at each other.
“Goldie, I saidgo inside.”
“Shedidtell you to go inside,” says Don.
“Go inside, Goldie.
Go inside, Goldie!”
