You will watch 9 hours of CBS reality television a week and like it!

Season 23 ofBig Brotherwill kick off that evening with a 90-minute live premiere.

then you are definitely reading the wrong article.

Love Island - Pictured: George Johnson, Ray Gantt, Eric Hall, Marlisse “Marli” Tyndall, Aissata Diallo and Kelsey Jurewicz. The tenth episode of Love Island airs, Monday, July 22 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT). New one-hour episodes continue every weeknight through Wednesday, August 7 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT). Photo: Colin Young-Wolff/CBS Entertainment ©2019 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Colin Young-Wolff/CBS

And if you are thinking “That’s not nearly enough!”

well, then, first of all, we like the way you think.

(Don’t worry, we have no idea what that means either.)

Say goodbye to your family.

Kiss your vaccinated social life goodbye.