When this, the first full week ofBig Brother 11, started, I wasnt feeling the cast.
In Sundays episode, they werent doing anything.
No big fights, just some moping and sucking up by Lydia.
Credit: Sonja Flemming/CBS
No one was popping out as the crazy person thatBBneeds to make a memorable season.
But I shouldnt have been so impatient, because by Tuesday we were getting some delightful dysfunction.
(Hey, its only the first week!)
And the Brains bonded over how humiliating their high school years were.
Ronnies clearly were unpleasant.
He couldnt be a more blatant geek if he wore a shirt that said DORK on it.
Oh wait, he does that.
As for the Popular kids, they just tried to be gregarious and lovable to all people.
So take comfort in that, you stinky four-eyes.
Yep, Im sure his principal couldnt be prouder of that elocution.
Does Casey begin all of his classes by handing out glow sticks?
Although not as popular as she thinks.
Its not my fault I have huge boobs.
Her mentioning her chest is tied with Ronnies DORK T-shirt as most redundant thing in the house.
NEXT: Ronnie and Russell: worst masterminds ever
But by Tuesday, people really started playing the game.
Ronnie and Russell emerged as the self-proclaimed biggest masterminds, even though both are wildly overplaying their hands.
There was no reason to make that move that early in the game: Now Russell doesnt trust him.
Peoples wariness of Ronnie could have been avoided if hed just kept his mouth shut in the first place.
Perhaps its just a way to test his skills as national champion for persuasive speaking.
(Shhhh, dont tell anyone!
Only Chima is to know!)
But wait, is there really such a championship?
And then theres Tussling Russell who Hustles with Gussle the field-goal kicking mule.
A more arrogant specimen youll never find and Im talking about a house that includes Jessie.
Heres what I dont get: the name of the game onBBis not putting a target on your back.
Russell is all but applying one to himself in water-resistant paint.
But for the sake of argument, lets say it was a good idea.
So if you wanted to turn people against Jeff, why randomly and publicly make a mockery of him?
And what of Lydia?
NEXT: Lydia loses her underdog status
But then things got ugly.
And then she threw Braden under the bus, which led to the seasons first all-house blowout.
Then he spat out the ultimate insult: Go back to Burbank!
She was using her outsider image as an excuse to be a jerk to everybody.
Now shes just coming off as a prom queen dressed as a punk for Halloween.
Before we get to the final vote, lets discuss this weeks challenges.
What, they have to use Bunkys hairy back as a pillow?
What future teen-confusion challenges can we look forward to?
Second Base Under The Veto?
Why Am I Growing Hair on My Veto?
Shut Up, Mom, You Dont Understand Me!
God, Youre So Veto!?
NEXT: Is Braden a (bleeping) racist?
Okay, now lets get back to the final vote.
(He seems to just revel in lying for the sake of lying, and thinking its all strategy.
Well, Chima, thats who.
Anyone who votes for a racist and a misogynist, you deserve to go home.
It certainly made me reconsider Braden, who had been carefully edited to appear like a harmless kooky surfer.
It all seems at odds with his laconic, Zen surfer image.
I guess nobody ever said that all racists had to be go-getters.
I just watched the YouTube clip of him callingKevin a beaner.
(And considering Kevin is not Mexican, this is not just racist, but inaccurately racist.)
Leaving it out was unfair: it just made Lydia and Chimas explosions look deluded and crazy.
But hey, he is National Champion at Incomprehensible Strategy.
What did you think of the first full week?
(And would you dare invent a word around him?)
And what of Ronnie?
Before you answer these questions, brace yourself:Julie Chens EW.com bloghas begun!
For our first week, we debated none other thanBig Brother 11.
Because we have our priorities straight.
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