Two new arrivals fight over John Paul Jones, but all he wants is Tayshia.
Its week four, rose lovers, and several couples are firming up their quasi-real connections in Paradise.
As a result, this episode was very, very heavy on theJohn Paul Jonesof it all.
Credit: ABC
Im still processing the weirdness, but this cuteness helps.
Shes here, shes queer, lets all just get used to it, okay?
Anyhoo, time to recap.
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Actually, Im sorry JPJ for sure thinks it will.
Shes really the only woman I can envision a long-term relationship with, he says.
I just want to ensure youre happy, she says.
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In other words,Im gonna play the field, bro, and you should too.
(But… did she even talk to Derek?
Take it down a notch, buddy Tahzjuan-on-one wasnt that funny.
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JPJ is also absolutely determined to eat the date food, despite Tahzjuans vehement protests.
Im having the best time!
Not for long, because here comes Haley (a.k.a.
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one-half of the Twins from Bens season).
Seeing JPJ walk away with Haley is too much for Tahzjuan to bear well, that and the heat.
She half-faints from dehydration and then asks the medical team for some guacamole.
Meanwhile, Haley and JPJ are getting along famously on their date.
A match made in blonde hair heaven.
Its very awkward, Tahzs joke that she considered spitting in Haleys wine.
Derek is someone that stood out to me since day one, she says.
I dont know how to take a next step while Im here, he says sadly.
Tayshia tells him to take some time and reflect before he makes any decisions.
Nicole and Clay:Yep, they did it.
It was even better than I thought it would be, says Nicole.
Our relationships stronger than any other couple in Paradise.
Caelynn and Dean:Ive never felt more comfortable and more myself with anyone, gushes Caelynn.
He has a way of making people feel really special, she says.
you should probably lay down the law.
Wells agrees: No ones been able to, like, wrangle him.
Thats the good news.
Now for the gut-punch: I suck at dating.
There will be no normal life and Saturday-night dinner parties for Deanie Babies!
Caelynn does NOT love it.
This just feels like its gonna stop after Paradise, she says.
Dean does not deny that prediction: I think you would just bemiserableas my girlfriend.
Oh hey, theres Kristina!
Then she pulls out her big guns: I kept your ass around.
And also, as Caitlin puts it, a pretty s-y move.
But in his heart of hearts, he still wants Tayshia.
She, however, wants something else.
Im here to move forward, says Derek, who apparently had quite a successful time reflecting.
Caelynn is also ready to move forward with Dean, even though hes a homeless commitment-phobe.
But hey, he sang her happy birthday!
As for Katie, shes determined to fix things with Chris before he gives his rose to Jen.
I wanted you to know that I want to be with you 100 percent, she tells him.
I dont want you to doubt where my heads at.
ROSE CEREMONY RESULTS
First, some housekeeping.
That means its time to say goodbye toCaitlyn,Jen,andTahzjuan.
Sorry, ladies but hey, at least you have some air conditioning in your future.
5 MOST GIF-ABLE MOMENTS
- JPJ manscapes his nipples
Sorry.
But at least I didnt GIF the dude shaving his happy trail.
- JPJ cant walk and laugh at the same time
To be fair, the dudereallyneeded a nap.
But who among ushasntdowned a bowl of pasta when the object of our affection turns his attentions elsewhere?
Ill be honest, rose lovers Im not too broken up about tonights departures.
But I do have questions: Why havent we seen more thanoneconversation between Mike and Sydney?
Are the cold-hearted Blake and Kristina made for each other?
And is Dean about to crush all of Caelynns hopes and dreams?
Post your thoughts below!
Bachelor in Paradiseairs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
