Linda Hamilton returns for a goofy, pointless franchise extension.
Surely she had better blockbuster offers thanTerminator: Dark Fate.
In this ludicrous robo-sequel, Davis plays Grace, an augmented human from apocalyptic 2042.
Kerry Brown/Paramount Pictures
Soon, shes hurling forward off a crashed car, then plummeting inside a crashing plane.
What he lacks is grace.
A fancy new piece of industrial machinery has taken her brothers job.
A Terminator (Gabriel Luna) arrives to assassinate her.
Its a Rev-9 model, which never doesnt sound like an especially collectible Hot Wheelz.
The Rev-9 (vroom!)
can split into two bodies, the transmorphic exo-skin jello-ing outward from a trademark shiny skeleton.
So its the T-1000 from 1991sJudgment Daymashed with the original blend T-800.
Grace rescues Dani, and then Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) rescues both of them.
She returns an exhausted soldier, gone cynical from repetitive franchise chores.
I hunt Terminators, she explains, And I drink till I black out.
Youre with her all the way: Can you believe this crap?
Theres great possibility in the central tripling.
The firstTerminatorwas an on-the-run romance, and thenT2crafted a fractured family tale.
IsDark Fatea saga of complicated sisterhood?
Maybe one of the credited writers was aiming for that.
The cliches pile up.
hunts the women by god-moding all surveillance technology, the same way Batman found Joker inThe Dark Knight.
The team has to follow the mysterious coordinates tattooed on Graces body, isBlindspotstill on?
Theres one sequence set at a border detention center that nudges toward topicality.
Sadly, that set piece also features the most laughable action moment.
also runs toward the helicopter, and they both jump, and… nothing really happens.
Theres something just too polished aboutDark Fate, humans and robots alike performing tireless feats of acrobatics.
Grace, we find out, has a power limit, and occasionally needs to load up on pharmaceuticals.
Shades of Jeremy Renner hunting his blessed Chems!
inThe Bourne Legacy, but this contrivance doesnt really add up to much.
Sometimes, Grace gets tired; then, like the proverbial Popeye, she eats her spinach.
Schwarzenegger is here, too.
His late appearance brings a new note of straight-up comedy.
Hes now a Terminator named Carl who has a complicated relationship with Sarah.
Carls gone domestic, and wait till you hear him talk about changing diapers efficiently and without complaint.
At leastDark Fateis frequently bad in a funny way, without the dutiful dullness of the last couple sequels.
Characters can drive onto a military base and just take an airplane, no questions asked.
At times, you’re able to senseDark Fatejust giving up.
What are you doing?
Grace explains: Future s. Accurate.C
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