He also adapted his essay for the screen.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You’ve written two “Modern Love” columns.
How and when did the idea of adapting one of them for the show first come about?
(L-R) Zane Pais and Marquis Rodriguez in ‘Modern Love’.Christopher Saunders/Amazon; Inset: Bennett Raglin/WireImage
They came back and said, “Send a proposal of what that would look like.”
I wanted to have a little more freedom in the way that we presented it.
What motivated you to go with this essay as opposed to your other?
It was the first one that I had written, and I felt very close to it.
So I felt very, very close to it.
Was it always that you would both adapt and direct it?
What were those conversations?
I definitely wanted to adapt it.
I talked toRyan Murphy.
That was also a real gift that I was able to lean on other directors I had worked with.
I certainly thought a lot aboutLena Dunham, watching her directing so many episodes ofGirlsand writing 70 episodes.
She was also very supportive and thought I should try, so that was nice to have supportive friends.
Was directing something you’d been wanting to try for a whileor did it catch you off guard?
Yeah, it kind of snuck up.
It was not something that I ever thought was on the list.
There are certainly times you write things that are just for you.
You’re like, “Well, I finished.
That was a lot of self-motivated work.
I think maybe I could probably tackle something new at this point.”
But it was not something on my radar.
This was like doing a short film.
It felt like a very unique way to start directing.
It came up after the article came out.
I have never seen that man again that I was with that night.
I had one sort of crossing of paths with him, much like is shown in the episode.
It took some distance to then go back and be like, “What the hell was he thinking?
What was that experience like for him?”
Because that couldn’t have been easy either.
Everyone gets to be complete.
There was a part of me that didn’t want to cast my “character” as the lead.
So that’s where I started.
That’s a bad feeling when that starts to happen."
Was it strange being on set and watching events that actually happened to you be dramatized?
What was really helpful was casting.
There are these two great actors, Zane Pais and Marquis Rodriguez, that we found.
I was really blown away by both of them, and they made it their own.
I was handing it over to these guys to tell.
That was really helpful in separating myself from the story.
But for the rest of it, I really just handed it over to that cast.
We filmed the episode up in Schenectady, New York, and we were all quarantined there.
What was my relationship with my sister who was calling me?"
I don’t want to say it was easy, but it was easy.
A lot of these people were my friends too.
Nikki James and I didBook of Mormontogether.
Zuzanna Szadkowski has been my best friend since I was 18.
And they’re like, “Yeah, got it.”
That was also very helpful.
My big directing secret was just cast very talented actors and they’ll basically finish the work for you.
Did you get bit by the directing bug?
Are you eager to do more?
That has its unique challenges but also benefits.
That is something that I will also direct.
Did writing and directing this give you new insight into that night or just yourself more broadly?
Yeah, it did.
I was really hard on myself about who I was in my 20s at that time.
This is 2001, so people were doing that.
But just looking back and being like, “What an idiot.”
